In support of CYFSWATCH NZ and the right of Free Speech. First visit to Watching CYFSWATCH NZ? Visit our home page. Please visit our e/group at

Why so long to put things right?

Posted by watchingcyfswatchnewzealand on April 21, 2007

As posted on CYFSWATCH NZ

Why so long to put things right?
Friday, 09.03.2007, 06:59am (GMT12)

Why aren’t the Politicians weighing in and demanding accountability?Articles in the Herald – contrary to comments from the courts etc – would suggest that NZ is choking on a huge number of cases like the Kay Skelton vs. Chris Jones matter. In one report in this morning’s Herald the estimate from just one long-running battle is $500,000.00.

The authorities are saying that 6 years is an unusually long time for such matters to be before the courts. This would seem to be patently untrue. Vindictive parents indulging in the most insidious form of child abuse, i.e. parental alienation, are being fully funded at the taxpayer’s expense by Legal Aid Services, even for those who fail to meet the criteria necessary for funding such obviously obstructive and malicious behaviour.

In just one case I have personal experience of which has gone on for 7 years, Legal Aid Services continued to fund court action for a mother – already living off the taxpayers on the DPB and enjoying income related rent in a Housing NZ rental – irrespective of her failure to meet their own criteria such as prospects of success, the merits of her case etc.

At the outset this mother made it plain that she would stop the father seeing his daughter by fair means or foul, beginning with accusing him of sexually molesting their daughter. The police investigated and found there was no case for him to answer even though this mother had presented her daughter at Starship Hospital with genital injuries consistent with penetrating trauma or a clumsy attempt at sexual intercourse, according to the examining paediatrician.

This mother also accused her ex-husband of having raped her and told me that it was thrown out of court for lack of evidence. Having seen the CYFS and Police paperwork obtained under the official information act I can tell you that it never went to court because he was never charged because she made no such complaint. The CYFS social workers (because they didn’t read their own files I expect since the information is plainly in there), the women’s support groups, the psychologists didn’t know that though and so they gave her their full support and the benefit of the doubt for years.

This father was prevented from seeing his daughter – then aged five – for a full two years as a result of such lies since a psychologist and social worker believed that he presented a real threat to his daughter. Eventually, and many tens of thousands of his hard earned dollars later, he was allowed supervised access at Barnardos for a further year.

Eventually, he was allowed to have his daughter every other weekend.

The mother meantime went to work on her neighbour, me, telling me horror stories of what went on during her marriage and since. Tales of rape, the use of date-rape drugs so her husband and his mates could have sex with her, and even claimed that he had raped their family dog (a claim my vet has since challenged). She told me his parents were drunks as was he, and that he was a druggie and a burglar. She showed me the Starship Hospital report outlining the injuries to her daughter’s genitals, including bruising to her hymen. Seemed a slam dunk. HE must have done it.

The mother also made representations to CYFS (and me) stating that the child had resumed bed wetting, sleepwalking and “acting out” on learning that access with her father was to be resumed.

After three years of helping this woman wherever I could and feeling sorry for these awful experiences, she began to turn the heat up in her efforts to stop the father from having weekend access with his child. She said CYFS wouldn’t listen to her any longer since her ex was so plausible they couldn’t see what a bad egg he really was.
She ran interference with access at every turn, even calling the Police to report that he had abducted their daughter one long weekend, pretending she didn’t know he had her for the extra day.

She began to send her daughter over to see me after school – ostensibly to overcome her fear of dogs in helping me to train a new puppy – and the child began to relate horror stories about her visits with her father. Finally, I became so concerned for her safety that I called CYFS myself.

The intake social worker lost interest the minute I mentioned the mother’s name, dismissively noting that this mother comes across as “very intense”. I made her listen to what the child had been telling me. She was hugely concerned at what she heard and advised that mother collect the child from school immediately, since the father was due to take her for the weekend within the hour, and to bring her to my place in case he showed up creating, and this we duly did. CYFS, she said, would then arrange for the matter to be investigated.

Back to court it went and to my dismay the orders were enforced. I contacted a high-profile politician who was equally alarmed at what he heard and agreed to accompany the mother to CYFS to see that these very serious issues were addressed.
After this meeting, he called me and said that she had not brought up any of the matters that had caused such concern, that she had come out with the most “pathetic” rubbish and that the whole thing had been a complete waste of time. The father’s access visits duly resumed.

Of course I was gobsmacked by this turn of events but still expected a call from this mother as to how the meeting had progressed. I heard nothing for days and on finally calling her was treated to a rude and hostile response. I asked her how she could possibly treat me like that after everything I had done to help her and her daughter. She replied that she simply couldn’t be bothered with me and hung up. It became abundantly clear that her sole purpose in knowing me was to achieve another CYFS notification to run interference in the father’s access to his child.

I called CYFS again and spoke to one of her case workers, explaining that I had made a terrible error in judgement in supporting this woman and that I felt if anyone was harming this child it was her mother. Aside from school, this kid was totally isolated from the world by her mother, allowed only to know her maternal grandparents and maternal aunt. At age 11 she had never had a birthday party or a sleep-over. She was not allowed to bring friends home from school or play with the neighbourhood kids. In the middle of summer she would be closeted away with her mother with the doors and windows tight shut.

I had felt, even though this was an unhealthy situation, the child was better with a flakey mother than a paedophile father.

Barely had I put the phone down from speaking with CYFS than I was contacted by Counsel for Child and asked if I would meet with the father to which I agreed.
He brought with him stacks of folders containing the meticulous records he had kept of his ex-wife’s shenanigans from the get go.

This is one savvy father. He played strictly by the rules, he stuck within the letter of the law and stayed doggedly and unswervingly with the process of working his way through the many court appearances and various hoops he was forced to jump through. It has cost him in excess of $70,000 in legal fees alone, not to mention the many hours of time away from his business, the thousands of miles he had to travel from his home town to hers, the years the child was kept from her paternal family etc. The mother, meantime, sucked it off the taxpayers totally unchallenged.

CYFS re-opened her case, father applied for custody. Mother tried to prove that he was unfit to be the custodial parent by claiming to CYFS, psychologists etc that he was having an affair with me, the drug dealer next door, and that he leaves the child with me all hours where I abuse her until she can hear her crying in distress. She went to new neighbours and told them that he and I were at my place abusing the child and that she had cried out the window “Mummy, help me”. She said she couldn’t call the Police herself because they would make her take medication – this as a result of Mental Health Services taking the view that when she lied about the child being left with me she was suffering from auditory hallucinations and placed her on medication for a paranoid delusional disorder. I suppose they have to justify their continued involvement and the salaries we pay them for such political correctness.

The neighbours chose not to get involved so she went to her parents home since she no longer had a phone, called Police and told them the friend I had staying and I were having a domestic, asking that they check on her daughter’s safety since she believed she was in my home. Truth is, my friend looks like a skinhead as he shaves his head for diving and was regularly seen smoking roll-your-own cigarettes outside. She had claimed that she had listened to me abusing her daughter for a period of a year or more in one interview, yet she had not called Police to investigate until she thought I had a likely looking lad staying and we might get caught doing drugs, thereby giving her lies to CYFS etc some legs.

The Police arrived at 11:20pm waking me from a dead sleep and scaring hell out of me.

They called her parent’s back to warn her about wasting their time but were told she was no longer there. Why not? Didn’t she want to know her child was alright?
Mother was instructed by the family court judge not to subject her daughter to any more gynaecological examinations as it had been shown beyond all doubt that the child had not been molested, including the child saying so herself and adding that no-one has molested her, and the court believed the father presented no threat to his daughter. She was told these repeated investigations were harmful.

Mother moved off the DPB and onto a sickness benefit where she remains to this day.
Having lost custody and having access every other weekend, she lost no time in making several CYFS notifications of abuse and neglect against the father and me. Then she shot herself in the foot totally when she, accompanied by the maternal aunt, presented the child at Starship asking that she be examined yet again for sexual abuse. Starship instead notified CYFS and Council for Child and father applied to have access stopped, and succeeded.

The latest game was when the mother then injured herself and she and her parents presented at the Police Station charging me with assault.
Fortunately for me, she has such a history for making false allegations I was not charged. Even though her brother had just lost his life in a head-on, she still found the malicious energy to call the Police within 7 days of his death to get on their hammer to deal to me for an assault I did not commit.

As you can see from the foregoing, this woman (and her family) is obviously not genuine yet she has succeeded in making defamatory and false allegations against her ex-husband for many years, fully funded by those of us with sufficient self-respect to work for a living. Even in light of the original Police findings 7 years ago which nut-shelled her motives on just one A4 page, she has taken us all for a very expensive ride and untold harm has been done to her child in the years she has indulged her campaign of hatred – for no other reason than that she can.

Irrespective of the litany of lies, the countless incidents of perjury, contempt of court, false affidavits, false allegations, wasting police time and the merciless use of God knows how many mugs like me, she has never been held to account and now that she hides behind Mental Health Services she probably never will be.

Many factions need to be held to account for this situation, starting with the lawyers (who, despite being well aware that the mother’s claims were spurious, still applied for Legal Aid and took the money all those years), Legal Aid Services, even the father’s barrister for not heeding the original Police report and challenging Legal Aid Services for funding her activities, CYFS for failing to act on this form of child abuse even though they were aware it was happening, the media for failing to expose this case irrespective of the incontrovertible evidence of this abuse of the system by so many for so long, politicians for looking the other way etc.

Not only has this man spent so many of the best years of his life fighting for his right to know his child and his child’s right to a father, but this child has been significantly damaged by the years she has been manipulated, lied to, taught to lie and manipulate, stunted both physically and emotionally and will undoubtedly face huge problems in her relationships most likely for the rest of her life.
Anyone wanting to know more about this particular case can contact me:

You may be concerned about that Starship Hospital report and the findings on medical examination – I know it covered a multitude of sins in my dealings with this mother.
Her claim to me was that the father had returned her daughter after her very first overnight access (with someone the mother claims to be a sexual pervert, rapist and criminal) at 4pm on the Sunday, smelling and looking as though someone had had sex with her five-and-a-half year old. She claimed that her daughter smelled so bad she ran a bath for her and on undressing her discovered blood in her knickers. All the same, she placed the child in the bath and in bathing her discovered the genital injuries. She said she then took her child to Starship with her mother – the child’s maternal grandmother.

When I asked her what she had done with her clothing – plainly evidence – she claimed that she had laundered them as she “didn’t think”. I had assumed that she went immediately to Starship although common sense would dictate that this is a job for the Police. Especially in obtaining advice in preserving evidence.

Contrast this with her previous claims that her husband had dosed her ice-cream with date-rape drugs, her description of how bitter the ice-cream had tasted, how she had gone to the bathroom and noticed that her eyes looked “weird”, and that this was her last recollection until waking in the morning with very sore genitals. She knew enough about due process to go straight to her G.P without bathing but said she was told by said G.P that after 12 hours had elapsed there was little likelihood such drugs would still be evident in her bloodstream. She claimed the G.P had said it did indeed seem that she had been subjected to “rough sex”.

According to her own evidence (paperwork available), she had left accessing any assistance for her allegedly sexually abused daughter until the following day, having bathed her immediately and then showered her on that following morning before then presenting her to her G.P who then referred the child for an urgent assessment at Starship – a full 24 hours after being returned home by her father the previous day.

The paediatrician assessed that the injuries would have been “excruciating” and would most likely have occurred within the previous 48 hours. Mother stated the child was asymptomatic on the previous Saturday morning.

Motive and opportunity? The mother’s mother, a tranquilliser addict for many years (by her own and her father’s admission to me), lived just next door. Who had access to hypno-sedatives? Why can’t this kid recall how she was injured yet she can recall the weekend concerned? She remembers on returning home only that she was put straight to bed at 4pm and remembers being woken for dinner, bathed and then put back to bed. Expecting to go to school next morning was told she would be going to the doctor instead but not told why.

None of the adults or kids present for the duration of her visit with her Dad can recall the distress one would expect from such an injury during her visit?
You decide.

Like everyone else, I was surprised by Kerre’s comments, but she is right in stating that most people have little to do with the Family courts or CYFS and obviously Kerre has had little experience at the ‘coal face’. I did respond by email to her and hope that she will engage in dialogue in the matter I have raised as an example for her elucidation. I wrote as follows:

“Hi Kerre,

Your comments re the cyfswatch posters letting their anger and frustration get the better of them are valid. but pls go to and read my post re a mother getting away with the most outrageous abuses of the system for many years, unchallenged no matter how obvious and unlawful her m.o., not to mention the issue of how her daughter really got hurt.

Even in the face of such glaringly overt misbehaviour and a damning psych report on the damage to the child, the social workers still bent over backwards for this woman, even providing her with a driver and car so that she wouldn’t be ‘stressed out’ by having to find parking. it is infuriating to see her molly-coddled and catered to while the apologists in various government departments make excuses for her and defend her when you’ve had as close up and personal a look at what she is really all about as i have.

Imagine how her ex-husband must feel after such a long-running ordeal at her hands, paying through the nose all the way, and having to watch his lovely little girl growing into a manipulative little liar at her mother’s behest, impotent to do anything to help her other than ‘play the game’ and wait for a break.
the politicians and media won’t touch this story yet he has absolute proof of what has occurred. her own barrister called me when i was still supportive of her to inform me that the child is lying about her father to please her mother – yet she still took her many slices of the legal aid pie. one can only assume that the access/custody industry is creaming it and such unwillingness to cut out the rot is a conspiracy of silence.

This man received an apology from the family court judge who awarded him custody after his 7 year battle saying “i lament the many years your case has been before the family court and how cruel it has been for you and (child’s name).” he added that he thought him the most singularly dedicated father he had come across in his considerable time at the court.

Why then is it so impossible for him to have his case investigated and the systems and practices that led to this appalling miscarriage reviewed and overhauled?
this case, as with the skelton vs jones matter is obviously just the tip of the iceberg.

While cancer patients are forced to travel to Australia for treatment, the powers that be are quite happy to pour millions into the black hole that is the family court, and turn a blind eye to the many and substantial abuses it supports, whilst the children are irretrievably damaged in the process.
shame on them”.

I failed to remind Kerre that we are all subject to the Privacy Act and fearful of a backlash from those with a vested interest in maintaining the status quo should we have the gumption to expose the actual individuals, e.g. the mother to whom I refer. She is fully protected yet her ex spouse is fair game. How can we possibly accept this situation and still believe we live in a decent society?”

Hopefully, you will consider this situation worthy of an airing on cyfswatch.

web metrics

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: