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What is it with School Teachers and Principals?

Posted by watchingcyfswatchnewzealand on April 12, 2007

As posted on CYFSWATCH NZ

What is it with School Teachers and Principals?
Thursday, 08.03.2007, 12:55pm (GMT12)

After reading some of your heart rendering stories, I felt that I had to share my harrowing tale with you all. New Year 2005 was a particularly tragic time for our family we lost our beloved Poppy (my grandfather) after a long illness with cancer. My mother who had been caring for him full-time was barley coping with his loss asked me to come and visit her. I live in
Wellington and she in Nelson; all was well, whilst our grief was still fresh, and emotions and nerves were at their highest I returned home to find CYFS on our doorstep.

This is how the sorry saga played out…

On this particular day our 12 yo daughter and 14 yo son had be arguing about something minor as normal, my poor husband got a bit short tempered with it all and roared at them to quit it. Our daughter then decided to push her luck and was smart mouthed back to her dad. Unfortunately he lost all composure at this point and whilst trying to prevent her from storming out of the house pushed her against the wall. Our daughter returned to her room upset that she wasn’t able to get her own way and that her Dad had pushed her.

The following school day she was over heard discussing the incident with her friends and how her Dad was so mean not to have let her have her own way. The teacher that overheard this conversation decided it was of such a serious nature that she needed to notify the principal; at which the principal then asked our daughter to come to her office and discuss what had been over heard and that she could bring a friend along for support.

The principal after listening to what our daughter had say and her story having got somewhat distorted from a push to an all out stranglehold, whilst being forcefully held against the wall with her feet off the floor! She always has been a drama queen, the principal decide it was her duty to call CYFS.

The day I returned home on the Inter Islander I received a distressed call from my husband, to tell me that CYFS had called and what had transpired. As you can imagine I was livid that the school hadn’t consulted me or my husband before deciding our daughter was in such danger that CYFS needed to intervene, and terrified at what would come next.

The next day two lady CYFS workers arrived on our doorstep, and demanded that our daughter leave and go to her grandparents or aunts where she would be “safe” from her Dad. I explained that the school had it wrong and that our daughter had over reacted and made things up because she was angry with her Dad for not getting her own way.

They would not listen to reason, and weren’t interested in anything else we had to say. Eventually my husband snapped when it was suggested he not touch his daughter in an affectionate manner again until he had proved he was a suitable father by going on one of their recommended parenting classes and anger management. He promptly told CYFS woman where she could go and they would only take his daughter away over his dead body.

We had further heated discussions with the CYFS women and the entire time they were in our home stood fast to their policy and resolve! Finally, they asked to speak to our daughter alone. I was apprehensive at this request but decided they couldn’t do any more damage and my daughter had stood by and heard all of this discussion. Having not understood what was about to happen to her she went to pieces, begging and screaming not to be removed from her home, and that she had only said those things because she was mad at her Dad.

After about 20 minutes of calming my daughter down and re evaluating what CYFS wanted I gave in. Fortunately, I had been taking in all of what they had been saying and managed to turn the entire saga around, I showed them the many books on parenting I had and ways in which we would ensure our Daughter was safe. They were happy with that outcome and promptly left telling us that if we needed the parenting class etc to contact them.

My husband and daughter have now spent a year trying to get back to where they were before all of this, he is terrified to discipline her in anyway in case she decides to retaliate by calling CYFS and equally she is terrified of CYFS coming to take her away.

All parents be very careful, make sure you know how your school deals with these types of things and let your children know what CYFS do, fully informed means easier choices and lots less heart ache for all.

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