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Where NOT to go for counselling if your relationship or family is in crisis

Posted by watchingcyfswatchnewzealand on March 27, 2007

As posted on CYFSWATCH NZ

Where NOT to go for counselling if your relationship or family is in crisis.
Tuesday, 27.03.2007, 07:33am (GMT12)

Pass S59 Bill – Turn the Tide, Say No to Violence

March 26 2007

Pass S59 Bill – Turn the Tide, Say No to Violence.

“It is time New Zealanders found ways of parenting and partnering that don’t involve hitting,” says Jeff Sanders, Chief Executive of Relationship Services. “Everyone can learn to parent without hitting, and still maintain clear discipline and limits.”

Since Parliament last debated Section 59 two weeks ago, Relationship Services counsellors have worked with over 400 people who are trying to address issues of violence, anger and abuse.

“Every day our counsellors work with people who are current or past victims of violence, or are perpetrators of violence,” said Mr Sanders, who is also a member of the Taskforce for Action on Violence within Families.

“New Zealand’s high levels of violence are a blight on our country. What parents want most for our children is a country that is safe, where violence and hitting is unusual behaviour. A defence in law for hitting and beating our children undermines that goal.”

“It’s time to turn the tide. Passing this bill is a major step to saying no to violence. If we keep the existing Section 59 or amend the current bill, we should not be surprised if violence in our communities continues to flourish.”

“New Zealanders must face the unintended consequences of smacking. Being hit teaches both children and adults that physical force is a legitimate way to get what you want. Too often we see the results of this when we work with clients on issues around family violence.”

“Hitting children is no way to build a healthy relationship. It doesn’t teach what a healthy relationship looks like.”

“Opponents of the bill have spoken of their hitting in the context of loving discipline. But love is not an excuse for hitting, whether it’s your partner or your children.”

Relationship Services urges all Members of Parliament to say no to violence and support the bill, without further amendment, this Wednesday.

“Our children deserve to inherit a society where relationships within families are built on respect and effective communication – our children deserve our love, not our violence,” said Mr Sanders.

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