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Where is the book, and can I have a copy?

Posted by watchingcyfswatchnewzealand on March 24, 2007

As posted on CYFSWATCH NZ

Where is the book, and can I have a copy?
Saturday, 24.03.2007, 09:11am (GMT12)

Somewhere along my time line, all four times, I have missed the boat. Completely.

Somewhere, some bright spark, with no children, but with a genius streak, has written a book that tells me how to raise my children to be law abiding citizens when they get to adult-hood.

This book, I would presume, is given out to mothers during, or just after labour when she is utterly buggered and can’t do much more than cry with joy and relief. Joy for her baby, relief the pain is over.

It is to be read, obviously, when she is dealing with the lochia and the stitches, trying to get used to some tiny little thing that has jaws like a vice grip, sucking away like a vacuum cleaner, and if it hurts, this book tells her though!

You cannot starve your child while trying not to go insane with the pain.

This book is the ticket to Prozac, which is doled out like lollies, because a mother who is suffering the baby blues must be unfit, because she cries.

If the bad feelings don’t go away and the mother gets post natal depression, that is the emergency call for CYFS to come in.

If mother has had the misfortune to undergo an operation, a c section, and can not read the book, then by all means, she is a failure if she can not bond with her baby an hour after the birth.

This super book has all the answers in it.

It has the rules of being a parent. It tells you, in one chapter, to pick baby up as soon as baby cries.

The next chapter will, predictably enough, tell mother and father to leave baby to cry if baby only wants to be carried around.

Dads are not exempt from this book either. It tells baby’s Dad that he has the right to pick baby up, as long as he doesn’t gently bounce baby up and down.

Dad is not able to give mum a break in chapter one, because this break means, in chapter two, that Mum cannot cope with baby, and the state needs to interfere.

This sounds stupid.

My point is obvious. I think.

To make a cup of coffee, do you put in the milk first or the hot water?

Two different schools of thought along that line. Children are different from coffee, (but not by much! try and go without one for a while and it does get to you, plus too much at night does keep you up, haha).

There are no two politicians that can sit down at the same time, but in different places, and come up with exactly the same idea, as to what a perfect parent truly is. They would differ on certain things.

But since this book (strictly a figment of my imagination), obviously exists in the minds of people who have never had kids, can I ask?

Can you send me a copy please?



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