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CYFS and Adoption

Posted by watchingcyfswatchnewzealand on March 7, 2007

As poted on CYFS ‘A LAW UNTO THIER OWN’

Thursday, January 25, 2007

CYFS and Adoption

Hi,

I have had my fair share of bull from CYFS which has caused me many years of emotional stress. At the age of 17 i left home and moved in with my maternal grandmother with the intention of furthering my education. However i met a young man and we started seeing each other resulting in a pregnancy. I chose to keep my son and had the support of my grandmother who was a retired midwife and able to advise me throughout my pregnancy. My home town was very small and my mother at the time worked for CYFS and my father was the local traffic officer before the merge with the NZ Police. They didn’t approve of my boyfriend as he came from a dysfunctional family and had a record. He was also violent. I did leave him and told him to undergo anger management which he did. And we went through the family courts to arrange supervised access as The Guardianship Act of 1968 states that if a partner is violent to his partner or children then he/she is only allowed supervision of their children. I agreed to him having supervision and all went well.

Shortly before my sons 1st birthday we decided to give our relationship another try and he moved in with me. His mother asked if we would take in her other son as he needed to get away for a while. I reluctantly agreed. But this caused problems and my partner and his brother had a big fight. I had a boarder at the time who was pregnant and she rang the police in fear for her safety. This call was mistaken to be me and reported to my parents. They never told me that they were aware of the fight. At my sons 1st birthday they offered to take my son for the weekend so that i could clean up etc and i also had out of town family staying. I agreed and arranged to collect him on the Monday. However when i got there i was told that i was not getting my son because they feared for his safety after my call to 111. It didn’t matter that the fight had not been started by my partner he had a record and was not liked by my parents. CYFS worker Mark Corkrane from Waipukurau turned up and told me to leave i was not taking my son. I was never given a warrant to uplift my son and to this day have never seen one. I went to a lawyer to fight my parents which was hard as everyone respected my parents. But i eventually got custody back. I was told by CYFS that if i allowed my partner to see my son unsupervised i would lose custody of him again.

I decided that i needed a holiday and so i went to see my grandmother in Gisborne who was disgusted with my parents as she knew i was a good mum i had doctors letters to prove it. Whilst there i received a call from my pen pal inviting me to stay and i also received a call from a mate asking me if i would house sit for her whilst i was there. I agreed as i needed some time alone with my son. I left my grandmother a note and went to house sit. While there my ex partner found out i was there and asked to see his son. I told him he could only see him supervised so he arranged for his CYFS approved ex foster parents to supervise with me present. I was not aware at the time that CYFS and my parents had followed me to Gisborne and turned up at the supervised access and took my son saying i had lied about my holiday. To this day i am unsure what they meant by that. Again they didn’t have any warrant to uplift they just took him. I was distraught as i had done exactly what they advised as far as access. I couldn’t understand why they had taken my son again. When i got home they had broken into my home and taken my son’s belongings and furniture along with some legal documents and my stereo which i had on HP was also gone. The police were not very helpful and didn’t even search my parents house to retrieve my stuff. I wasn’t surprised. I fought for 12 years to get my son back but with my parents lying and their status i had lost before i even went into court. In the meantime i got back with my ex partner and we had another son. I was worried that CYFS would take him too but they were not interested and didn’t even visit our home once. I asked them why they wouldn’t return my son when i was a good mother. My second son proved that. But i didn’t win. Meanwhile the stress caused my partner to leave me when my 2nd son was only 6months old and when when he turned 8 months old i met my current husband. We eventually lived together and then married and had a son together. 2 years ago my husband asked if he could adopt my son from my 1st marriage and so we applied to the courts. My 1st husband and the father of my son agreed and consented to the adoption. My lawyer told me that i also had to formally adopt my own son even though i was his mother.
 

CYFS visited us and we told them all about the problems my ex had caused including the evidential and diagnostic evidence that CYFS had proving he had abused my son. We were told that information along with his record of abusing children and my sons request to be adopted as my husband was the only father he knew was enough for her to give us her support. She even sat at our kitchen table and promised our son a celebration lunch and asked him what he would like as she was going to shout.

Well we were shocked when we got the report from CYFS it was full of wrong information including my parents names my husbands name and also the worst was they didn’t feel that my son would be in danger if he was allowed to have a relationship with his biological father so therefore they were not recommending the adoption! Here was a department that had threatened me and told me to keep my son away from his biological father or lose custody permanently which i did because i allowed him supervised access and now they were worried about his rights as a father, despite the fact that he had consented to the adoption! I also mentioned to CYFS that in the 12 years of my sons life he had seen his biological father twice and had had no other contact from him at all.

So it just goes to show that they do not really care about what is best for the children just what they can do. And it is for this reason that the family courts are closed because if more people knew what CYFS did to families then there would be a public outcry.

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