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Horror Stories 24/01/07 to 31/01/07

Posted by watchingcyfswatchnewzealand on February 12, 2007

As posted on CYFSWATCH

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

When CYFS and Lawyers “tag team” against a Family……

I have my own unpleasant involvement with CYPS and the Family Court. I am a single parent with a six year old daughter and a five year old son. I am a good parent, I am a strong advocate for my children. In 2005 I ABSOLUTELY severed contact with my (now) ex-husband after a domestic incident which ended with my ex-husband yelling swear words into the face of my traumatised daughter. I engaged a lawyer and alleged in an affidavit how his anger issues involved the children. I also described in the affidavit the inappropriate behaviors of my ex-husbands father, who said and did inappropriate things (of a sexual nature) while in the presence of the children. My ex-husband responded with an affidavit containing 53 statements which painted me as an angry ex-spouse who wanted to deprive him of the children.He has been allowed by the courts to hide behind this smokescreen without investigation. My lawyer told me she would not be taking anything to court for me, nor would she be swearing any more affidavits. She told me to “go along because he had rights and he would get access”. My ex-husband took matters of access to court while I was being represented in this fashion, he told the judge he would not be interviewed by anyone referred by the courts, he would not allow anyone to interview his parents, he would not allow anyone on his property, and his father did do the things I alleged but they were just the actions of a red-blooded male. Without investigation of my allegations my ex-husband was awarded fortnightly access and half the school holidays, this started in April 2006 and is continuing. Prior to their access visits the children were well balanced, happy and secure. We are a non-hitting household. After their access visits the children were coming home very angry and very physically and verbally violent. The children told me that they were being bullied by the 13 year old son of my ex-husbands girlfriend: he was kicking and punching them, he was dragging my son around by the neck of his clothing, he was standing on their fingers, toes and ankles, he was going into my daughters bedroom in the morning before everyone was up and waking her by putting his hands around her neck and choking her. She said she woke up unable to breathe and she was very scared and cried a lot. I notified CYPS and the children’s lawyer, the access continued. The children’s behaviors have deteriorated markedly, their school has documented the changes in their behaviours and written reports when the children started to bully other children at school.
The children said, Daddy was angry and hitting the 13 year old son of his girlfriend, they said everyone was yelling and it was really horrible. I again notified CYPS. We had an evidential taping. The children told of the bullying. Access continues. After an access visit I found the notebook of my six year old daughter. She has the reading age of nine years old, she had written in her notebook that she was given chocolate to lie naked in bed with a man. I notified CYPS and took the notebook with me. I also took the notebook to the children’s court-appointed lawyer. He did nothing, in his report to the judge he did not say anything about the existence of the notebook or of its contents, he told the judge he thought there was no bullying going on, that it was a case of rough play fighting. He recommended access continue unchanged. CYPS did another evidential taping, the children said the bullying was still going on and described that. My daughter would not say a word about the notebook. The interviewers said it was their personal opinion that something was happening with my daughter but she was protecting someone. Both children now exhibit inappropriate sexual behaviours and language.
After that evidential taping the CYPS supervisor sent an email to my lawyer saying “No disclosures of concern were made by either child during their interview. xxxx did speak about some bullying by her step brother, but I do not consider this to be anything out of the ordinary. I am now closing this investigation. I note that this is the fourth notification that has been made by Mrs XXXX in 12 months.”
I feel many things toward the court system, CYPS, and the lawyers for allowing this to happen to my children. What do CYPS consider to be an ‘ordinary’ level of physical abuse? Why is the bullying acceptable when it is not acceptable behaviour in any other setting? According to the Ministry of Justice website: the brief for the children’s lawyer is the prevention of harm to the child. How is he following that brief on behalf of the children? What about the contents of the notebook? Surely that exists as a piece of evidence even if no-one is listening to me? Just because my daughter will not speak of the notebook does not mean nothing is happening. There is an implication in the CYPS email relating to the number of times I have made notifications on my children’s behalf. Do they have a limit on the number of times you can attempt to protect your children? The access visits continue. I delivered the children to their court ordered Christmas access, with my daughter crouching on the floor of the car, crying and begging me, saying she did not want to go. My ex-husbands lawyers have threatened me with large fines or imprisonment if I do not comply with the court order. The children say they were bullied on Christmas day. My five year old son came home saying, “Daddy said I don’t have to listen to you, you’re a bitch Mummy.” I delivered the children to the drop off point for their court ordered second half of the holidays with their father. He did not bother to show up.

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

Seems everyone has a choice – except the parents.

Thank you and good luck with what you are doing. You are doing a great job in raising public awareness on a horror that is perpetuated on a daily basis in this country. I have known first hand what it is like dealing with them and the bull that you have to go through. I had decided to go to university to do the social work course that is on offer there but have since changed my mind. You don’t need a social work degree to put a helping hand out. For someone who is having difficulty they don’t need someone who is going to go in gung ho and rip their family apart, they need someone that will listen to their problems, difficulties etc and then try to come up with solutions for them. For many families when things go to custard with a child for whatever reason what they need is HELP not judgement. I know for me I just needed help. That’s not what I got. What I got was my family torn apart. I can’t have my son anywhere near me or my other children because of what he became in cyfs care. He learnt how to break in to cars several different ways and steal them, he learnt how to commit burglaries, how to commit arson (several) how to smoke pot and do an awful lot of drinking. He has burgled me, tried to steal cars I have had, has an unhealthy obsession with his younger sister and has beaten me. He has been in and out of jail and seems to be in the paper with arrest warrants issued for him. When he was in cyfs care they were supposed to have him drug and alcohol assessed as well as a psychiatric assessment done. That never happened. He was supposed to go to school, that never happened. Their reply when I asked why he had not had his assessments done and why he was not going to school was get this “If he doesn’t want to we can’t make him”. They just couldn’t be bothered was more the point. Now there is a monster running around out there and I do mean a monster in every sense of the word. He blames me for what happened to him in cyfs care because I couldn’t take him home. When I finally did win, after lots of court time and legal threats to cyfs by my wonderful lawyer it was too late for my son. People in this country need to unite against the atrocities that cyfs is perpetuating and continuing to do on a daily basis. Get to know the vulnerable people in your community and offer to help. Whether it is just to listen to what someone is telling you and I do mean listen. You never know, you may be able to offer some small piece of advice that could change a whole lot of things in a good way, a positive way for them. New Zealand “ STAND UP AND BE COUNTED. OUR CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE. WE NEED TO LOOK AFTER THEM. DON’T LET THE SYSTEM RIP OUR FAMILIES APART ANY MORE. TAKE A STAND NOW”

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

Is the parent EVER believed?


Hi there. I was very pleased somebody is finally giving these bastards their just deserts and something has to be finally done to stop these culprits. I am a mother of four children,whom three of them have disabilities. Cyfs came into our lives about four years ago and ever since I have had nothing but bullying, intimidation, lies, punishment etc. We were all in a happy loving caring environment, as I got good feedback reports from everyone involved. I was working for a living while I had my children in preschool and primary school and was providing the best for my family. The children were taken into care and the older sibling remained in my care. It had unsettled all our family and the children had gone into regression and depression since leaving my home. It was devastating to see my sons having serious behavioural problems of hair pulling, scratching face and temper tantrums. This was evidential of a psychologist from the court in his report that the children had gone into regression and depression since in care and found nothing wrong with my parenting and found no reason why the children were uplifted in the first place. He wanted to go to court and testify on our behalf, but to this day nobody has asked him to do so. My 9yr old son was returned to my care two years ago, as they sent him home and not the other boys. He has been diagnosed with a disorder which he requires tablets at night to help him sleep, as the whole incident due to cyfs has traumatised him. My two younger boys remain in care and have been the subject of abuse while in cyfs custody. I know abuse happens in cyfs care as I was made a state ward from 6-16 yrs and I suffered many years of it. There should be some law where as a parent we listen to our children’s cries and the dept doesn’t want to take notice, we should have a right to defend. I don’t sit quietly as I tell the dept what I think and for whatever I say I get punished…It must stop, as I am sick and tired of being blamed for nothing and the dept get all the credit for their lies and betrayal. Something needs to be done and I will be willing to go further if need be. Good luck to all the parents out there.

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

Why QUALIFIED and EXTERNAL Clinical Supervision and Counselling is SO important for CYFS staff.

Normally I would be totally against naming people like this on a website, but something has to change. Our story is too long & complex for me to wish to submit it in full to your blog, but suffice to say, we have been royally screwed over by 1 particular CYFS worker intent on destroying our family. We went to them seeking help, and have done all that has been asked of us. Every step of the way this 1 worker has made it an uphill battle to get our family back together. It is only the sheer determination of my wife & I to make things work that our children have 2 loving parents under the same roof. This worker seemed to be VERY anti-male (we found out her own marriage had just busted up), but after many reasoned pleas with support from other agencies (we could demonstrate she was doing the kids more harm than good), her management refused to assign a different worker. We don’t have an issue with the agency as such- we have met some perfectly nice & reasonable workers we would be happy to work with, and lets face it, it’s a bloody awful job they have to do. But there seems NO AVENUE FOR COMPLAINT against workers who exhibit gross incompetence & prejudice in their work. And they have the power to destroy your family and make life a living hell!!! We are finally nearly free from this one worker, so I’m not prepared to name names for fear of recrimination. (It’s a small office she works at; wouldn’t take much for her to put 2 & 2 together!)
Feel free to publish my (anonymous) words of support nonetheless.
Cheers & good luck keeping the site up.

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

Counsel for Child Mr Bruce Andrews – Gods Chosen?


Many years ago I worked for the Salvation Army in Christchurch in 19984 – 85 and as a divorced solo parent I attended and was supportive member of the Salvation Army church in Stratford and then Kelvin Grove.

I remarried in 2002 and had the grace to be blessed later with the birth of a beautiful baby boy. Then when he was a year old and we were living in Fielding and attending St Johns when the bad floods hit. We struggled to cope and had some difficulty at this time with my then 13 year old daughter. CYFs became involved and removed firstly my 13 year old daughter and then my then 1`8month old boy. As stated in the finding of our hearing in the Family Court, CYFs had made no effort to support or assist our family in any way. No effort to try to work with us.

Bruce Andrews was assigned as Council for Child. A year after going into care my daughter ran away and returned home. I took her to see Bruce Andrews and she talked with him alone and informed him that the allegations she had made were lies and she was allowed to return home. But our baby boy remained in care and throughout this Bruce Andrews has appeared not to act in the children’s best interest but just backed up and supporting CYFs in all that they said.

It was a very complicated case in which I will not go into there but the main points were that as a young teenager, my husband had been sexually abused by his brother, who himself was abused by the Catholic Church Brothers at St John of God boarding school. Because no one, especially his parents believed him, my husband acted out and indecently assaulted 3 children. My husband was caught and sentenced to probation and counselling in the Juvenile (Youth) court. He got help from ACROSS and has never re offended in 18 years. However Bruce Andrews saw fit to ignore all of the positives in the risk assessment and instead dwelt on the negatives.

I was told that I’m not an adequate protector for my son because I have suffered from depression in the past. I was criticised for not constantly holding up before my husband his sin. But I would consider that to be emotionally abusive as all this occurred before he became a Christian and has therefore been forgiven by god and put as far as the East is from the West. Who was I not to forgive, when God had?

We proved our son had never been abused or neglected by us in any way, but in spite of this we are heart broken now because we have lost permanent custody to CYFs.

Bruce Andrews recommended that our access be cut from 2 access visits per week of 1 ½ hours each visit to 4 access visits a year of 1 hour each visit. This is in spite of the fact that all of our access reports were shown to be a positive experience for our son.
My husband and I had put our hope in God, in the fact that as a Christian, especially one with in the Salvation Army, Bruce Andrews would see through the lies presented by the Enemy and acknowledge the truth. For a time, because of this evil, my husband and I lost our faith. I now have my faith back, but my husband is still struggling with his.

I am as Hannah in the Bible, in that I have given my son Joshua into God’s hands and fast for him once a week. It is all I can do. Unlike Hannah I cannot find comfort in further children. I am 43 years old and my husband wants no more children for CYFs to take. I also would fear having another child in this country, when our human rights have been so trampled.

Bruce Andrews greatly contributed to this and appears to us as a wolf in sheep’s clothing and a destroyer of families. He has hurt deeply our family and our small boy who was a covenant child, a child promised to us by God when I was not supposed to be able to conceive any more. It would be better for Bruce Andrews if a mill stone had been placed around his neck and he was dropped into the deepest part of the ocean.

Our son who’s doctor is Martin Minnee and is a Christian, and also the Plunket reports showed Joshua had never been abused or hurt by us in any way and indeed that in Dr Minnee’s words had ‘caring, concerned parents’ has appeared at all access visits with scrapes, bruising and a black eye. Bruce Andrews knows this!

I do not believe it benefits the Salvation Army to have this man in your ranks of uniformed ‘officers’ of the church. God’s vengeance is going to catch up with this destroyer of families as the word states that ‘nothing remains hidden’

As god’s children, my husband and I will be vindicated and our enemies will be brought down. If Bruce Andrews really is a Christian and Child of god he seriously needs to re assess his career, and stop being one when only in uniform. Currently, he changes his beliefs as often as he changes his clothes.

We had praised God on hearing one we knew to be Salvation Army was appointed Counsel for Child. We should have put on sack cloth and ashes instead.

Signed, A Broken Hearted Mother

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

When “Client Confidentiality” aint all that confidential after all.


Hey there.

Firstly, well done on the initiative and we hope you don’t get shut down.

We have been dealing with CYFS in the last two years and I am sooooo unimpressed with how they deal with things. Underfunded? Hiring wrong staff? Don’t know, I just found the staff to be completely incompetent (Manukau CYFS), unprofessional, and completely disorganised. We were given temporary care of our nephews and granted a type of foster/guardianship/whangai. A year later the father took back the kids. Why? The cyfs worker didn’t file the paperwork. Well done – hope she’s feeling happy that the case is now closed and not her problem anymore. We’re currently seeking further legal action. And then don’t get me started on a couple of unprofessional staff in Palmerston North. For example, a staff member that is a family member in our case was able to access OUR personal file (all personal info like our income etc). I laid several complaints, nothing was done.

Feel free to post this email or the last section.

Keep up the work. My husband and I support your venture.

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

When Gender makes a big difference.


There is an old saying.

“Nothing can be sliced so thin that it doesn’t have two sides”.

Unfortunately for this Country there are a couple of organisations that can slice things so fine that they only have their sides.

Nineteen years ago I terminated my marriage. There was only one rule (for special reasons) from that day on and that was that I would have total control over my children but they could decide at any time who they wanted to live with. They chose to stay with me but did spend some time, later, with their mother.

Shortly after the separation I received a visit from two women. I was at the time mowing the front lawn of the house we lived in. These women walked straight passed me without saying anything and straight into the house. I followed them and found them standing at the dining room table. I asked if I could be of some help and they asked me if I had a daughter named (?) living with me. I said “yes”. They then asked if they could speak to her. I then asked them who they were. They said that they were from the Child Protection Team, Tauranga Social Welfare. (Todays CYF’S). I had no problem with that and called my daughter to talk to them. I went back to mowing the lawn.

A little later I was summoned to the dining room and told by these two women that they were satisfied that nothing un-toward was happening in the house. I thanked them and told them I was grateful to hear that and that in future they had an open invitation to visit at any time but please phone to make an appointment so as not to upset my children. I went on to explain that their mother had disappeared and that they were quite anxious about not hearing from her.

About two weeks later my daughter came home from school in a distressed state and I asked her what the problem was. She told me that she had been called out of a class, to the Principals Office, during the day for what she thought was something she had done wrong. She was interviewed by one of the women that had appeared at my dining table a couple of weeks earlier. I phoned the woman concerned to explain that by doing what she did she had upset my daughter and that it wouldn’t happen again. She explained to me that it was in fact the school who had contacted her and she was
responding. I then approached the Headmaster of the school and explained the situation and that at any time if he had any concerns he should contact me and he also had an open invitation to visit. The Headmaster told me that it was in fact the Child Protection Team member that had contacted the school not the other way round.

I then made an appointment with the head person (Manager) at the Tauranga branch of the Social Welfare with a view to sorting the matter out once and for all. At that meeting I explained that I was separated and that my children were quite anxious about their mothers whereabouts and that I would not tolerate any disruption in their lives. The Manager asked me to wait for a moment so that “he” could get the file to see what had happened to that point. On “his” return “he” told me that “he” was quite embarrassed because there did not appear to be a file at all. I left “him” leaving “him” in no doubt that I would not tolerate any more rubbish from his people.

Approximately six months passed and my children’s mother returned to Tauranga and moved in with her mother. My son would, after school, often call into to see his mother on the way home. After one of his visits he came to me and told me that he had seen a letter on his mothers bedside table that he thought I might be interested in. Initially I told him off for minding other peoples business but he explained that in the letter there was a mention of the visit of the Child Protection members to the house some months earlier. Curious I asked him to grab it next time he was

The letter was written by my ex-wifes mother to her daughter, the mother of my children and in it she explained that she had a personal friend who worked for the Child Protection team at Tauranga Social Welfare and that she had asked her to pay a visit on me to “teach me a lesson”.

I took this letter to the head of the Tauranga Social Welfare. The gentleman in charge, at the time, was absolutely shocked. In fact he closed his office door sat down and said that I had his department “by the balls”. He then asked me what I would like to see happen from that point on. I asked that a copy of the letter be put on a file and be kept. I had some thing to do with the letter of my own. I did get some considerable satisfaction out of giving the letter back to my ex-mother in law and informing her that I had made a copy of it. That was the end of the saga as
far as I was concerned.

Seventeen years later, I was unfortunately, forced to report my daughter to CYF’S (call centre) and the CA Team, Tauranga Police, for a vicious assault, that I witnessed, on the 13 year old daughter of her drug addicted partner. I also reported the both of them to the CIB, Tauranga, for their use of the drug “P”. I was at the time concerned about my daughters behaviour and was living with them, for approximately three to four months, under the guise of wanting to return to live in Tauranga.

From the outset it was a shambles. After three days of not hearing from CYF’S, after my initial complaint to the “call centre”, I contacted the Tauranga office directly because I was concerned that my reporting the assault and drug use would have dire consequences for the two school aged children in the house with these two. The major problem for them not actioning my complaint was that they had not received notification from the “call centre” that there had been a complaint and until they had that notification there was nothing that they could or would do. My contact with
the CAT detective, Tauranga Police, was a total waist of time. After my initial complaint I contacted him some time later to find out what he had done. Not only had this useless individual done nothing he tried to cover up his incompetence by firstly stating that his version of our phone call was totally different to mine and then he was bound not to do anything unless CYF’S requested it. I had never before heard of a cop letting unqualified personal make a decision for him regarding the investigation of
an assault.

I had witnessed my daughter viciously assault a 13 year old, witnessed the father use drugs 24 hours a day, witnessed my daughter use “P”, watched for three months or more the two of them treat this girl like a piece of shit. They spent all of their income on drugs and gambling while the two children

Tauranga CYF’S were more interested in gathering a bit of shit on me than acting on my complaint. To be fair this does not apply to the good people who work there.

Quite frankly I am just sitting waiting for the shit to hit the fan.

I am writing this to point out what I think is wrong with CYF’S. In nineteen years thing have only gotten worse. The problem has always been there, I believe, because of the type of person who takes on that kind of job. I think it would be quite rewarding personally to be able to help a family in need. The problem seems to me to be that the people involved with the organisation are disturbed individuals in themselves. Nineteen years ago the Manager at the Tauranga Social Welfare Department was a male. After approaching him I was able to get some satisfaction after presenting him with the facts. Today a woman is in charge of CYF’S.

Perhaps if CYF’S and the CAT team at the Tauranga Police Station were supervised by a male we wouldn’t have the problems we have today.

You have a fabulous site and the only reason some one would want you to
close it down is to conceal the truth.

Thursday, 25 January 2007

Suicide as a result of “CYFS Process” intervention, says Coroners Court.

Firstly I congratulate you on providing this forum, in a country where we supposedly have free speech, I cannot see why anyone would want it shut down. I don’t know if the individuals names help, I don’t know names..just CYFS.

I will tell this story on behalf of my sister, who is not able to share this herself. She committed suicide nearly two years ago as a result of CYFS. Five days prior to her death CYFS came in and took her only daughter away “with concrete boots on” (in her own words). My sister was 34 years old.

Later at the Coroners hearing, blame fell very fairly and squarely on CYFS “process” and it was recommended by the coroner that CYFS amend their process to prevent the type of distress this caused my sister. To this day I do not know if CYFS ever implemented the coroners recommendations. They have never told us they changed anything…At the time I thought it was some silver lining in this very dark cloud that another family would be spared from suicide, but maybe she died in vain in that way too now..

My sister was not blameless in this either, but she was a good mother. She loved her daughter very much.Her daughter was her whole reason for living. So when CYFS came in unannounced on a Friday morning to her home when her daughter was at school and said she “had” to sign the paper for 30 days, she felt VERY pressured. Her daughter was to be with a family friend she knew and trusted and so most reluctantly, she signed the paper. One of the terms was that she not “communicate” with her daughter at all. Which seems especially cruel to me…A letter came from CYFS which remained unopened in her mail box. It was short letter, offhand, stating in writing about not contacting her daughter, as if to rub salt into the wound. Thank goodness she never saw it. Also in her unread mail was part three of a correspondence course she’d been doing about positive living skills and parenting..

She was trying very hard, she was a (high functioning) sufferer of a mental heath condition called BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). One of the things that people with BPD do is alcohol or substance abuse, or gambling or risky sex (some type of risky addictive behaviour). For my sister her coping ,mechanism with the BPD was alcohol. She was an alcoholic and she also self harmed herself by cutting herself. She had been suicidal in the past but these attempts were never serious enough to succeed. She WAS in treatment for the BPD and alcoholism and had been so off and on for several years.

So she had problems..but she never to my knowledge ever hit her daughter, nor abused her verbally etc. The person she harmed was only ever herself (and yes by default I know that would have upset and therefore hurt her daughter).

We do not blame in the slightest her daughter for this. Her daughter went to the school counsellor on Thursday and expressed some problem at home (to this day we do not know what event/s caused this) but obviously something was going wrong and we had always urged her to “ask for help” if needed. So one day, she did ask for help. This must have kicked off a huge reaction as the counsellor is obligated I think to inform CYFS and CYFS dove in “concrete boots and all”. Next thing her daughter is gone. It seems a total over reaction, especially not allowing her to speak with her mother.

My sister was so ashamed this had happened she told no one but my mother and her partner and her own counsellors. She could not bear we family members know her daughter was taken, so we were not able to support her as she hit this final crisis.

She was in (out patient) treatment at Seagher House at the time and they were very supportive of her when this happened. They offering extra emergency counselling, housing etc with them over that weekend as they were very worried about my sister. They knew this might be the rug that would pull her from this world. They rang her and checked her every day. Her ex partner and now friend looked after her at his place, she was just devastated. Then on Tuesday she suddenly became peaceful and stated she was OK and wanted to go home now. She fooled everyone with this new tranquilly and went home – to kill herself.

By Thursday her ex partner was very worried as he’d had no contact with her since Tuesday night, so he left his job, bussed up the road to check her. He found her, quite dead in her car in her brand new housing NZ internal access garage, gassed. No note…the car had run out of petrol, probably pretty quickly as being a solo parent on a benefit she only put $5 or $10 a week in the damned thing. On the insistence of my Dad and with our whole hearted support, the perfectly good car was later towed away direct to the crusher…The house was also blessed…

When I saw her a few days later at the funeral home she still the same expression on her face that must have been in her mind – a terribly angry look on her face that I will never forget. When she was angry her lips would go thin and her chin go firm. They had not bothered to wash her hair and her make up was all wrong despite them having a photo. It was not the happy sparkly face she usually had. I did not want to see her but somehow i thought it may help me accept it, so I absolutely forced myself at the last minute after others assured me she looked “peaceful”. I swear I will never enter a funeral home (alive) again. I have given very clear instructions to my family NOT to view me but to cremate me quick and remember me alive.

Anyway all this is down to CYFS and their concrete boots. I cannot understand it, from media reports they seem to allow children stay with physically abusive families and all sorts. For example were the children form the Chris and Cru Kahui families under suspicion of double murder, taken away from their parents? I don’t think so? Yet my sister never harmed her child, still she was ripped away in a very NASTY way. My sister said 30 days may as well be 300 years, she could not cope with the battle against CYFS.

All her beloved animals survived as she made careful arrangements to make sure the gas would not go in the house to her bird and 4 cats…They all survived and they and her daughter are doing well, despite this all.

I wonder how many others are fatally crushed by CYFS and chalked up as “suicides” rather than departmental failures. At least the court acknowledged it was CYFS actions that caused this.

Thank you for the chance to tell the story for my much loved sister. She had problems yes, but I’d rather have the problems, than not have her here today. There were better ways CYFS could have handled this. They have a real “steamroller approach” that literally crushed my sister. Now we are missing a bright intelligent warm loving person, the life of a party. A child is motherless (and fatherless as her father is “off the scene” (dead beat Dad). It has been the worst thing that ever happened in all our lives and has a had a major chain reaction to others in the family with depression, panic attacks and even other suicide attempts by another close family member not coping with our loss. Had CYFS had handled this kindly and gently, constructively, I would not be writing this sad story today and had the last most hellish 18 months of our lives.

Signed: Sad sister

Monday, 29 January 2007

Aren’t school teachers supposed to teach?

New Zealand: Where men are crucified: I fully support the blog site, it must stay up!.

A child abuse allegation made by a teacher.

Well, where do you begin? One Friday!! Cyfs steps in..

I trusted these people, and gave them all details and information to check, and have been as honest as one can be!! As a solo father going for custody of his own child., drug tested, parenting classes, psychologist report with a recent home visit etc. This had taken several years. He then married the women he loves with 3 children, he calls his own. This family were prepared for their family court date due in weeks. Without any investigation of the above that I am aware of, as cyf said it was not about their eldest son,soon to be 7. We will not interfere with that. It did not make much sense to me. But take my grandson home with me, so his father can have supervised visits, or also stay with us till they carry out their investigation. Prior to the court day. My son was guilty, beheaded,crucified, hung out to dry. Lost his wife and children, all in different directions at present. Not one home visit, or any social worker contact other than my own attempts and only the 2 visits to their office, to try and find out what the hell is going on, firstly we believe teachers who with absolutely no training in these matters, come to the conclusion this child must be abused, one of four. At the age of 6. A stepson, taken to cyf by this teacher, by the way denied doing so, parents arrive at school to find cyfs have taken the children, panic stricken, beside themselves, whats going on!! The grandparents arrive, stepdad accused of child abuse, we believe children. You have no idea of the interigation. They had this family ripped apart, divorce, sell the house, the one I purchased to help them on their way. Never see him again, no offer of help what so ever, the judge jury and executioners. I heard it all, if you do not separate you will not get your children back. As any decent father would do, followed the rules, house on market, mum close to the children under supervision.

PS Her mother has been in Arohata Prison for assault, now there are 6 children and 5 adults living in a 2 bedroom house, but that’s ok with cyf! The abused child elsewhere, and the fourth with me, without contacting his mother for the past five weeks. The family court day arrived, shock horrer cyf letter, that they deny sending, stopped four years of full support in its tracks, nothing else mattered, but the allegation by this teacher, and much more added, to make him read like a total monster. The judge made it clear cyf had no rights to give me my grandson while this investigation was to be carried out, he is now with his mother, who gave him to my son willingly when he was a baby. No drug tests, no parenting classes,no anger management etc. I was the second choice by my grandson if he could not live with his father, his own words. He has his own legal council. A loving family destroyed in hours. The abused child’s own great grandma had recently passed away. He had been sullen, and at times very angry as he misses her terribly. This sick bad man, dearly loved by his sisters, 7 nephews, niece, and over twenty cousins, dresses up as Father Christmas, hides easter eggs to have a treasure hunt, makes horse, trains, planes and Sponge Bob birthday cakes and many other favourites, muffins, toffee etc, always involved in many other activitites. The best babysitter and totally trusted with all the children, some of them at the age, they can now testify if allowed. The ironic thing, he wanted to be a teacher himself. He’s no angel, he made mistakes, but we all grow, get stronger and do the best we can when we love our family. And we are a very, VERY CLOSE FAMILY with a lot of support to each other always, had cyf bothered to find out, or contact any of our family and friends. I have read other horror stories on this blog site about cyf and can’t add anymore to how f…d off with this incompetent department I am, and it needs to be severly overhauled to stop them destroying any more families. Concrete boot style. The Family Court should involve the whole family. The author of New Zealand: where men are not welcome said it all. . Cyf . department has f….d up so many times before, needs to be held accountable. NO MORE SECRETS AND LIES. Words of advice. Always use a tape recorder when dealing with these people.

Monday, 29 January 2007

Boundaries blurred in Foster Home placement?

Well, where do we start!

I say this because I have experienced and observed this unstable and dysfunctional Government Organization ‘CYPS’ continue to bully and abuse their authority and powers to obstruct justice and play parents and their children like ‘puppets on a string’. The Family Courts, as their stage.
I have had a close association with CYPS before they were founded back in 1985 here in New Zealand. I have seen the system both work and fail. I was made a ward of the Court when I was 14 years old. Back then things were very black and white. Racial issues were present as they still are today. Care givers and Social Workers not qualified enough to a standard that is required to ‘safe guard’ our children. The Organization is still highly unstable and dysfunctional with delivering and dealing with all the issues that are still at hand. ‘Pass the buck’ springs to mind, and unfortunately it is human nature to blame, bully, and shut down the ones that have been made powerless.
I thankfully was placed in a ‘Foster home’ that was similar to my European ethnic up bringing and had two very good foster parents that helped me through this stage of my childhood. I also would like to state that this was through Takapuna Branch before CYPS was founded and the social worker involved by the name of Lauraine Stubbs was fantastic in also helping me. I remember at the time that the organization was under staffed and this was a major problem.
MY life experience with CYPS really starts at the age of 14 years old 1985. I had left the ‘Foster Home’ and my caregivers to go and live with my boyfriend’s family the ‘VIVIANS’. Their youngest son ‘Grant’ was my first boyfriend and everyone thought it would be a good idea. It unfortunately was not, as Grant and I broke up and I soon learned that his hostile and abusive behaviour towards me would make living in the home very uncomfortable, vindictive, and created animosity for me from not just him, but his family also, exspecially his mother ‘Diane Vivian’.
I left at the age of 16 and got a job and went flatting for my first time. I was happy and excited with just doing that and had gained self confidence in life. I had no further contact with the Vivian’s accept through a close friend who had become the Vivian’s youngest son ‘Grant’s girlfriend.
Kirstin was also ‘fostered’ in by the Vivians. At this stage of my life I was happy and getting on with my life until Kirstin would contact me in tears about problems she was having with Grant and his family. I was not surprised by this, as like me, she was experiencing the same problems that I had. Grant was verbally, physically and emotionally abusive. His mother Diane Vivian, was naturally biased towards her son, very controlling and manipulative.
This went on for some time and Kirstin did go back to live with her younger brother and sister with their solo mother. I had attended a full time one year Hairdressing course at Winters School of Hairdressing and qualified top of my class. I was then immediately offered a full apprenticeship with David Sherry and Rodney Wayne. I worked in the salon full time in Queen Street, Auckland . I was 17 and loving it! I met someone who later I married and was happy (story ends?)

Tuesday, 30 January 2007

CYFS provide ambulance – when what was needed was a fence.

I can’t understand after years of ringing CYFS and asking them to help…

I kept getting told that there wasn’t a lot they could do for me… then when things came to a head and me and my other 2 children hadn’t slept a full night in months, my
oldest daughter was taken by the police to the cells. I was rung up at 1 am in the morning by a CYFS worker that didn’t want to go down to the cells. I had to tell her that my daughter couldn’t come back here and Social Worker went down to see her and rang me a 2 am to tell me that for the other 2 children’s safety they are going to keep her with them till she could go live with her father.

Why did it take months, and a mother that was about to have a break down, for CYFS to do anything; and even then they closed the case. This child is sniffing, drinking, smoking dope, and what ever else she can get her hands on… and to top it off she was hitting me and her brother and sister… and I never hit back once but if I had I would have been in trouble with the law.. But yet she was able to hit us and nothing could be done. this was not fair.

CYFS took the easy way out in this case.

After being told that CYFS had closed the case and are not going to follow her up, I was told by Mental Health that they were going to, as they could see what was going on and how much I wanted my daughter to get the help she needed.

To top it off I was told by CYFS that I was a good parent. You know, I don’t feel like a good parent as I couldn’t keep my daughter with me. If anything that was the last thing I wanted to hear from them.

To all of you I wish you all the best and hope that this site can help you and your families come together.

Tuesday, 30 January 2007

When no evidence is enough evidence to lose your kids.


I DO NOT need to “Name & Shame” to tell this story you know who you are!

While I understand the anguish and frustration for many of these parents have suffered through CYFS, I do not condone the naming of the social workers. I have, as a support person to a “friend” seen the damage first hand, the corruption, the lies and the ties between so-called professionals all working in together, the conflicts of interests in MANY of the cases and it disgusts me and makes me sick they get away with it.

The problem is there is NO WHERE or NO ONE to help the innocent parents out there that have had their children wrongly removed. No Lawyer is willing to take on CYFS as the Psychologists, the schools, and the health professionals will always stick together. Being cleared of “physically abusing your children” then opens up the way for them to then declare you as “having mental problems”. They will stop at nothing to get their way. The little person cannot defend themselves against these professionals, they all stick together no matter what.

There are so many lies and untruths in my friends case it makes me sick, this can happen to ANYONE at ANYTIME, no-one is immune from the power of CYFS. Like many people who are defending CYFS my friend sat in judgement of these parents, and claimed they were all abusers. That was until her day came, triggered of course by a bitter custody battle with her violent ex-husband, the allegations against her were nothing but malice and rubbish from her EX as concluded by CYFS social workers. CASE CLOSED. HOWEVER a 2nd social worker overturned it, the result being 5 children removed from my friends care with NO EVIDENCE of abuse, despite a independent Psychologist confirming there was no ABUSE. My friend was a more then capable parent. A CYFS appointed Psychologist said the exact opposite, his opinion counted, not the independent Psychologist, thus she lost her children.

I would rather see people giving their FULL VERSION of events in their particular case, outlining the injustices (things CYFS have missed or did not take into consideration) in the hope that if the social workers are all that they make out to be, they will re-open many of these cases and return the children to their rightful place. They have placed my friends children with her EX – husband, the same guy who pulled a knife on her and the children, the one and the same guy she had a protection order against. The children are traumatised and want to go home to MUM. Do your job; RE-OPEN THESE CASES, investigate properly, hearing from ALL SIDES. My friend does not associate with ANY of her family and has not for over 12 years. Yet they had an input in having her kids removed at the FGC, payback they said later on for her dis-associating herself from us. I am her life-time friend and I know her better then anyone, yet I was never asked for my opinion. I even offered a affidavit to her lawyer WITH REAL FACTS, things that CYFS had completely wrong. Heck, they didn’t even have the correct children’s names in their statements. He refused saying “WASTE OF TIME, CYFS HAVE YOUR MATE OVER A BARREL, ONCE THEY BRING IN THEIR OWN PHYCHOLOGIST, YOU ARE SCREWED”. (exact words) So how on earth is one meant to fight???

I want to see the cases re-opened. I want to see EVIDENCE that will hold up in a criminal court room if they want to remove children. My friends children were removed on the basis THEY MAY be at risk of being harmed. There was no evidence, no criminal charges to face, she has not broken any laws so what gives CYFS the right to remove her children?

I can’t see any reason for naming any particular social workers. My friend would be annoyed if I did because it is not in her nature to be aggressive or sour. She simply prays that one day you will realise you have made A HUGE mistake and that could be very soon considering all dramas in the EX’s household. If anything happens to her children while in the care of her Violent EX husband there will be hell to pay.

OPEN your eyes: the children were doing FANTASTIC at school, now they are failing. They are clearly traumatised, one in particular that the counsel for child is now clearly concerned about. The medical conditions and the medical professions claimed the CHILDREN did not have are still there even in the fathers care, does he suffer from Munchausens too?

He is on number 3 girlfriend since having the children. My friend was abused for having ONE boyfriend by you guys. THE EX has a drinking problem, he smacks the children, the children have told you all this why aren’t you helping them?

You know who you are, work it out. I still blame myself today after an FGC meeting concerned my friend was going to get herself in trouble by hiding the kids, I APPROACHED YOU with my concerns in TRUST that you would help her, so she not need fear her kids being removed, instead you used that statement to UPLIFT the children.

If I had known back then what a corrupt organisation CYFS were, I would have shut my mouth. But what is done is done, she has forgiven you all as that is the person she is, but you have truly destroyed her in every way and you have completely destroyed those children and their respect for any authority figures in the future.


Concerned faithful Friend.

Please put this on your site – It affects those supporting their close ones too.

Tuesday, 30 January 2007

This website – my lounge: and the difference is…?

As a child who has been in the CYFS in two areas of the country both Invercargill and Alexandra branches I have experienced and witness first hand what it is like which has led to the destruction of our family. I fully support this website.

I can’t seem to understand however, the fact that the creators could possibly be charged for what they are doing and this website be shut down.

I tell my friends and family what happened to us and this website is no different the only difference is everyone now has a common interest and it is shared to anyone who wants to read it.

If you were in my lounge and I wanted to tell you what happened while my family was involved with CYFS, I would give you all the details not just some. I would name them; I would tell you exactly what they did.

Therefore there is no difference if I wanted to post it anywhere on the web and If we did what the CYFS CEO wanted us to do, no one in the public eye would know what happens behind closed doors.

And if your going to tell a story your best to tell the whole truth and not cover up any details.

In fact I believe that this is similar to what ‘Close Up’ did with the Telecom Land Lines claim (by memory: where they were contacted by a particular group of people and said they have waited for over 6 months to get their landline on and were told they would have to wait even longer, they showed us this and then they found that there were a lot more people with similar problems).

This blog is a great way to reflect and share our stories to people who cares take this link for example
I would reveal my name, but only when I felt confident that there wouldn’t be any legal consequences to what I have to say. I do believe what I say is correct, I am not hiding behind the internet and when I get all the information I need and make sure it is accurate I will post my own story.

And in closing I believe that no one can comment about how one personally feels and no one can comment unless they have felt the receiving end of CYFS – I do believe that CYFS has a right to defend themself; however I also believe we have the right to express our feelings on this topic.

I will be advertising this website.

Tuesday, 30 January 2007

A cry for help.

Hi, I’m a 43 yr old father of six children, five of whom have been relocated by Women’s Refuge & Police & CYF along with their mother, my ex-partner. They are now hiding their whereabouts from me without lawful reason, in fact they cannot explain why, despite enquiries by myself & other family members.

This arose out of a incident where my ex-partner had me seriously assaulted by two men at our former home, in front of all my children. The Police now are refusing to press charges, despite an assault complaint being made, and are hiding their whereabouts, while unable to give an explanation for their actions. They have also refused to supply details of the case file, despite an official request being made.

CYF have supplied a file showing that they have been indeed been relocated, which also clearly reveals an attempt by several Welfare agencies to build a case against me, where there is none. This file was instigated by my sister-in-law ringing CYF and expressing concerns about the children’s welfare, but instead of investigating her concerns they have simply created an attempt to justify the Police and Women’s Refuges’ actions. Despite CYF staff admitting that there has been previous involvement by them at my ex-partners instigation, this has not appeared on file and I am told by switchboard staff in Auckland that this doesn’t appear on ‘the system’.

I have also had trouble getting trouble getting adequate legal representation, apparently because Legal Aid “doesn’t pay the costs involved”, but also because there seems to be a great deal of coercion between lawyers/police, lawyers/welfare agencies, etc. I am a long term invalid pensioner, with one dependant child, and cannot afford expensive legal help to sort this out. Nor should I have to, because I have done nothing wrong, and in fact have been the victim of several previous assaults by my ex-partner. Despite several attempts to press charges and get help for myself and children, I was continuously denied help by Police and I have now been targeted as the ‘offender’.

Can you help?

Please, I am very afraid and unable to help myself as I have been seriously traumatised and to date have not received any help from Victim Support/Counselling, despite many attempts to seek help from WINZ, doctor, both now and in the previous few years.

Yours sincerely, David G. Corban

Tuesday, 30 January 2007

CYFS FGC Facilitator bullies Autistic clients.

Hello, I have just been reading through your website … all congratulations to you! I was involved with Cyfs many years ago (over 13 years) with my eldest daughter. Ha, she remembers the dance lessons (these were paid for by them). The bullying behavior my husband & I received from them was never forgotten.

Mid last year I was involved with Cyfs as a support parent to a parent with a child with Autism, this was completely ignored by the person facilitating the FGC. After so many years from my own experience I had hoped that some lessons / change had happened with the people that choose to hold this position in people’s lives.

No change was evidenced by me, in my position as a support person with some knowledge on Autism. There was no support or understanding given to the family, who themselves had Autism Spectrum Disorder issues. The parent & other family were extremely distressed and as such had a number of questions why the FGC had been called, these same members were told to control themselves (stop asking questions) a number of times and were threatened that if they did not exhibit some control the meeting would be concluded.

The FGC facilitator was nothing short of a bully, continuously sitting forward and backward in his seat in such a manner that his behaviour intimidated everyone in the room, whispering to his social worker seated beside him. He commanded that the family agree to his desires or he would immediately end the meeting and the decision would be his alone to then continue with removal of the child in question.

I completely endorse and support what you are doing and I hope you continue. All these issues need to come out into the open.

Tuesday, 30 January 2007

How many hoops does one need to jump through?

I’ve laughed, cried, and know what everyone is talking about on this site. Yes I have to admit I was an unfit mother and have had my child/children taken into care more than once. The first time I felt was unjustified but later realised that for my childs sake at that time it was the best thing to have happened. No I didnt harm my child but according to the CYFS system at that time I had left her in an unsafe situation. A big harsh lesson learnt ‘Never leave child in anyones care and should anything happen to that child while in someone elses care then you the parent are at fault’. *Mental note taken and chalked up*

Another harsh lesson for all parents to learn is ‘Ignorance is not bliss’. “EDUCATION OF THE SYSTEM” is whats needed. Okay so by now I should be a shark in the system?!! Yeah right!!! Can we use the system to our advantage? I’ve tried but still found myself to be sabotaged. No matter how many hoops you jump through its still not enough. Yes the CYFS system at that time needed a complete overhaul. So now here in the future when CYFS themselves should have learnt from their mistakes…Oooops! the same mistakes are still being made! Uh oh! So I myself as a parent overhauled myself and my life and have found CYFS will always have their hand in every aspect of my life! Hmmmm…not a happy picture but I’ve learnt to live with it. Suicide for me would be an easy option BUT, who would take care of my children? Who would teach my children that when they grow up and have a family the big BAD wolf knocking at their door is most likely to be CYFS. Why?, because their own mother was?, ‘ nope according to CYFS almighty bible (whatever that is)’, I their mother is and always will be dysfunctional and came from a dysfunctional background. I no longer have much to do with my own family because I have learnt that a circle of dysfunctionality needed to be broken. Did you know that the worst people working for CYFS are extended family? My poor babies I am so sorry for the future that you will have.

Isnt it amazing what CYFS has done for my life and also lets not forget my children? I am now isolated from my family, have ongoing medical and mental problems. Oh my! What a farce!! I’m still waiting for the next CYFS visit. Its been a couple of years but hey! lets face it, they can never let go no matter what you think. Once you the parent are in the CYFS system you will never be free. Sarcasm seems to be my only form of enjoyment now.

Now talking about the future of CYFS, what I would like to know is if we the family, parents or caregivers need to have a higher form of authority keeping an eye on us, who is there to keep and eye on CYFS? Come on everyone I challenge you to sit back and think. We have someone keeping an eye on our banks, car sales, house builders, lawyers and real estate agencys (there are more but its a big headache to keep thinking). We are able to find someone we can complain to should anything like foul play happen. So why doesnt CYFS have the same? I have a couple of opinions that I have come up with is that they are a law unto themselves, and if there was someone able to take on the many complaints that I know there is out there, the poor dude left in charge will be needing psychiatric help probably at least twice weekly. Dont bother looking for answers from our wonderful government. I believe that CYFS was born so that the government has no blame.

If we the parents have to be kept an eye on by our neighbours, doctors, councellors and the system, then we have a world full of untrustworthy people. I believe the word for them is “NARKS”. Socially, so sad. So what are we trying to teach our children? I dont know I’m still trying to figure that one out. Being a good parent is growing with your children and learning from your mistakes.

So in conclusion to this CYFS is there to look after our children? Heck no! there is no conclusion…CYFS is another form of gestapoism.

Okay I think I’ve got that lot out of my system for now, this blog site is the best thing that has ever happened in a long time. Hooray! for its creator, what a genius! Finally a place to vent and rage.

Tuesday, 30 January 2007

Does the file ever really “close”?

Thanks for this website. We have two horror stories about CYFS and its former incarnation, The DSW.

Here is the first story. It concerns my husband’s dealings with the DSW.

Years ago my husband’s first wife began to form relationships with some other men. Fair enough: marriages break down. Soon after this, she threw him out of his home, with little more than the clothes on his back, then spent the next few years attempting, with some success, to turn her children against him.

The initial shock of being evicted from his home, and subsequent ongoing problems generated by both his ex-wife and the DSW, caused him to fall ill. He stopped eating, became extremely gaunt, and almost lost his sanity. He almost gave up on life, because he considered that he had lost everything. He was homeless for a time, and there were occasions where he slept under hedges. However, he battled on, and recovered.

As soon as he was evicted from his home, he voluntarily set up payments to his ex-wife for her children. We met during this awful time. His ex-wife continued to ask him for money, ostensibly for the kids – although I doubt they saw much of it.
Eventually, the DSW took administrative control of his voluntary child support payments – and they kept shifting the goalposts. When his ex-wife’s children reached the age of 16, he was supposed to be released from his financial obligation to them; however, that age was changed to 18, and then 19. Finally, he received the letter he had been waiting for: “File closed; no further payment is required.” He rejoiced. We took great pleasure in destroying the awful collection of DSW papers we had accumulated over the years. How stupid we were! Suddenly, some years later, he began to receive NEW demands for payment! The DSW had been undergoing some changes, and some re-branding; and either they “lost” certain crucial paperwork, or his ex-wife wanted to kick-start the gravy train again. And he did not have his precious letter – “file closed; no further payment is required” anymore!

This good and decent man, who had only ever been in a courtroom to divorce his first wife, found himself up before a judge, with no legal counsel or representation. His ex-wife and some of her children were there, with full legal representation. The judge acknowledged all the previous child support payments made by my husband that the DSW was able to account for; but he decided that my husband would have to make further payments to his ex-wife. So, my husband continued to make these payments until some of his ex-wife’s children were in their 30s.

As a result of all this, and due in part to some unpleasant statements some of his ex-wife’s children had made to him while he was in court, my husband felt unable to continue to have contact with them. He was getting older, and wanted a little peace of mind; he concluded that he had suffered enough. The only good thing to come out of that horrible time is that in spite of everything, our own marriage somehow survived, and his new family remains intact.

Tuesday, 30 January 2007

What is it with School Teachers and Principals?

CYFS….a bit like frosty boy “often licked never beaten”!

After reading some of your heart rendering stories, I felt that I had to share my harrowing tale with you all. New Year 2005 was a particularly tragic time for our family we lost our beloved Poppy (my grandfather) after a long illness with cancer. My mother who had been caring for him full-time was barley coping with his loss asked me to come and visit her. I live in Wellington and she in Nelson; all was well, whilst our grief was still fresh, and emotions and nerves were at their highest I returned home to find CYFS on our doorstep.

This is how the sorry saga played out…

On this particular day our 12 yo daughter and 14 yo son had be arguing about something minor as normal, my poor husband got a bit short tempered with it all and roared at them to quit it. Our daughter then decided to push her luck and was smart mouthed back to her dad. Unfortunately he lost all composure at this point and whilst trying to prevent her from storming out of the house pushed her against the wall. Our daughter returned to her room upset that she wasn’t able to get her own way and that her Dad had pushed her.

The following school day she was over heard discussing the incident with her friends and how her Dad was so mean not to have let her have her own way. The teacher that overheard this conversation decided it was of such a serious nature that she needed to notify the principal; at which the principal then asked our daughter to come to her office and discuss what had been over heard and that she could bring a friend along for support.

The principal after listening to what our daughter had say and her story having got somewhat distorted from a push to an all out stranglehold, whilst being forcefully held against the wall with her feet off the floor! She always has been a drama queen, the principal decide it was her duty to call CYFS.

The day I returned home on the Inter Islander I received a distressed call from my husband, to tell me that CYFS had called and what had transpired. As you can imagine I was livid that the school hadn’t consulted me or my husband before deciding our daughter was in such danger that CYFS needed to intervene, and terrified at what would come next.

The next day two lady CYFS workers arrived on our doorstep, and demanded that our daughter leave and go to her grandparents or aunts where she would be “safe” from her Dad. I explained that the school had it wrong and that our daughter had over reacted and made things up because she was angry with her Dad for not getting her own way.

They would not listen to reason, and weren’t interested in anything else we had to say. Eventually my husband snapped when it was suggested he not touch his daughter in an affectionate manner again until he had proved he was a suitable father by going on one of their recommended parenting classes and anger management. He promptly told CYFS woman where she could go and they would only take his daughter away over his dead body.

We had further heated discussions with the CYFS women and the entire time they were in our home stood fast to their policy and resolve! Finally, they asked to speak to our daughter alone. I was apprehensive at this request but decided they couldn’t do any more damage and my daughter had stood by and heard all of this discussion. Having not understood what was about to happen to her she went to pieces, begging and screaming not to be removed from her home, and that she had only said those things because she was mad at her Dad.

After about 20 minutes of calming my daughter down and re evaluating what CYFS wanted I gave in. Fortunately, I had been taking in all of what they had been saying and managed to turn the entire saga around, I showed them the many books on parenting I had and ways in which we would ensure our Daughter was safe. They were happy with that outcome and promptly left telling us that if we needed the parenting class etc to contact them.

My husband and daughter have now spent a year trying to get back to where they were before all of this, he is terrified to discipline her in anyway in case she decides to retaliate by calling CYFS and equally she is terrified of CYFS coming to take her away.

All parents be very careful, make sure you know how your school deals with these types of things and let your children know what CYFS do, fully informed means easier choices and lots less heart ache for all.

Wednesday, 31 January 2007

CYFS Social Worker pulls feeding baby off its mothers breast during removal.

Reply to CYFS Social Workers from a parent:

As has been stated, there are good social workers within your department, but do you seriously think people who have gone through the things reported on this site should shut up and be grateful your Dept exists? These are our children that are being killed, traumatised, hooked on drugs, having underage sex etc all while under CYFS care. Why should we not be outraged? Why should we not speak out?

I am personally aware of an incident where CYFS came in the night and removed children(no warning given) with nothing more than hearsay (later proved totally unfounded). But the real disturbing bit to that story (bad enough as it was) is that one of the CYFS people actually pulled a feeding baby off its mothers breast during the removal process. Also later, after the parents had been made to feel like dirt, and the allegations dismissed, there was no apology, no sorry for pulling your infant child away from its mothers breast, nothing. CYFS acted as if their actions were quite acceptable and for them, that was the end of the matter.

Can you seriously tell New Zealand that they don’t have a right to be angry? Our children are being harmed by the Dept that is ment to be there to protect them, and what is the reaction of that Dept? An inquiry to fix the problem, and give CYFS some credibility in our communities? No, instead we get an attempt to shut this site down by any means they can use. If only they put as much effort into fixing the problems with CYFS, we should be so lucky.

It is understandable that the good ones in your department are upset, however to call the people who have bore the devastating effects of CYFS heavy handedness ignorant is rubbing salt into an already gaping wound. So call us ignorant, full of bullshit, ungrateful if you like. But for us to voice our stories, there must first be stories to be voiced. Remember that next time you and your colleagues are complaining about ungrateful parents around the water cooler.

Wednesday, 31 January 2007

Words fail me.

Hey there.

Just want to join the growing line of people saying thank you for putting up your site. I’m a 31 year old survivor of CYFS care (back then it was called ‘ward of the state’ dsw etc).

Anyway, a brief over-view for you.

I was born to an elderly alcoholic mother and father, my oldest sister was at the time a heroin/morphine junkie on the methadone programme.

She was 18 when I was born, and had been sexually abused by her paternal grandfather since before her memory could allow.

Little wonder she was an addict.

She had to resort to continuing revolting sex acts with older men her entire life in order to fund her drug habit which was brought about by the intense desire to forget her youth.

See the bitter cycle that ensues.

When I was 5 yrs old, my mother decided she had had enough of questioning about where this child of hers was and threatened my sister with legal action. My sister ran with me for a few weeks but eventually realised it was futile. She reluctantly gave me up to our mother in the face of the police and kidnapping charges.

I spent the next 6 years of my life being sexually abused by my mothers drunken friends and physically abused by her.

I always knew, no matter what, my sister would come back for me. And she did. She spirited me away when I was 11 and we both knew my my mother would be too scared to argue as by that stage I was old enough to stick up for myself, and tell what had happened.

After this time I had tried to run from my mother and was locked up at Weymouth Girls home with children who had been raped by their own fathers and were carrying babies to them.

I have two of my own girls now, and suffer depression, especially after the loss of my sister, who died tragically and suddenly 2 years ago. I will never call those people helpful. The system sucks. It’s a complete tragedy that children have to go on being treated this way.

Yours sincerely,

A hurt little girl who misses her sister.

Wednesday, 31 January 2007

Threatened exposure kept CYFS accountable.

I am all for the cause of protection for the family against this regime called ” CYFS” or “CYPS”. Yes, in the past I have had dealings with them (not with my children, but grandchildren). I have never seen or want to see the high handed attitude of them again. What is worse is the attitude of some of the Maori CYP workers.

If it wasn’t for a neighbour Policeman who I called in for help my granddaughter would have gone to a child molester/ drunk & and his screaming wife who didn’t know the child or had ever shown any care or concern for the child in the first 2 years of her life.

Suddenly, after being told there is money in it for them, they wanted her and I (myself, who was 3 years younger than the wife & 10yrs younger than the husband) apparently was too old and tired too care for her anymore. I was 42, the other people were 45 & 55.

The child ended up with strangers until I demanded her back. HOW? I threatened to go to the press/ Woman’s Day and any magazine who would listen. Got her back but it shouldn’t have happened to my granddaughter.

Yes I am going to allow my name to go with this and I am all for this site and will print as much as I can off then mail it to a friend in Auz. I have never allowed the overbearing weight of “Public Servants” to intimidate me and never will.

My heart goes out to the people who have fought and lost.

Frances Nash.

Wednesday, 31 January 2007

Boyfriend who committed Statutory Rape given Guardian status of CYFS girlfriend – by CYFS.


Although I have not dealt directly with CYFS NZ, I have seen what they are capable of doing – or in this case not doing. When my then 18 year old brother turned up to my house to show off his latest girlfriend – I was shocked to learn she was just 12 years old. She certainly did not look 12 – but after a few months she let slip.

Now this particular girl had lost her mother in a car accident at 9 years old. Her only living parent left was a gang member in the Hawkes Bay – who dealt in and still does any illegal activity he can. He is well known to the police in the Hawkes Bay. Anyway, without getting off topic – they knew he would be obviously unsuitable as a caregiver – and after sending her to live with her grandparents for a few years off and on – she met up with my brother.

When she turned 14 my brother was granted guardian status. I’m sorry – but is there something terribly WRONG with that picture? I couldn’t believe it! But it didn’t stop there. He also got to collect a modest amount of money to support her. She has no education having being able to LEAVE SCHOOL at 12 years old.

Although they have long split up – she will never have the life she should have. She now works at a strip joint in Napier – is highly addicted to P – and her father works as a doorman at that same club.

The system let this girl down! In all the times the police were called to sort this girl out (she was also quite out of control) – eventually they just didn’t take notice. Sad. If they are going to have a government department that has the right to make or break a child’s life – that employs people without the appropriate degrees and who also do not realise the influence their actions have on these precious lives and the families – then really – what more can we expect? Whats more – they should have protected this girl from people like my brother – instead they handed her him – and paid him to take her.

It makes me sick. Maybe some kind of workplace training should be implemented! Or better still – maybe they should employ people who have souls and compassion for other lives.

Good luck with this site – And just for the record – I never would have found this site had it not been for the fantastic coverage of the news! Go the media! 🙂

Wednesday, 31 January 2007

“To prove you are innocent of any allegations made by CYFS, you need money”.


12 years of raising a child who has a disability, on my own and when Dad and the CYFS worker decide they want to take over, I was well and truly screwed.

To prove your innocent of any allegations made by CYFS, you need money.

When you have CYFS workers banging on your door at all hours of the day and you work nightshift, it is very hard to fight the fair battle and that is what happened to me.

I had two years of their crap and when I asked for a copy of my file, they gave me a copy that had not been proof read so I was one of the lucky ones who got the names of my accusers and what a surprise. One was the best friend of the CYFS worker and the other was a sad woman who’s life revolved around being important and attending every F.G.C. she could get an invite to.

With facts in hand I went to the head of our local CYFS Office and spoke with the manager. I pointed out the link between one of the accusers and the CYFS worker that was involved with my ex-partner. I had a written report showing how I could prove I was innocent of all that had been both written and said about me. I asked why none of the people that actually knew and spent time with me and my child, had even been interviewed. Not even the Pediatrician that had dealt with my child since that first year, was asked to give a full report on the child’s well being.

The answer I got from the head of CYFS in Southland was:

“It is not our job to prove your innocence. It is our job to prove you are guilty and remove the child or to say that the child is safe, for the time being”


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