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Horror Stories 09/FEB/07 to 14/FEB/07

Posted by watchingcyfswatchnewzealand on February 12, 2007

As posted on CYFSWATCH

Friday, 9 February 2007

Does CYFS ever have to provide any evidence to back up their allegations against families?

Hi there!

I have posted on your blog already, but this morning, for some unknown reason, I want to share my story.

Not that it can help anyone much, but it might make me feel a little better, as currently my children are in the dubious custody of CYFS.

I have not seen them, only a short time, on the 18 January, but it is my little girl’s 2nd birthday tomorrow, so happy birthday ‘Elf”, from us all…this is for you and your siblings.

In 2003, I tried to leave my ex.

He wasn’t going to take that lying down, so he went to Otahuhu CYFS and told them I was being sexually abused by my step-dad, and I was letting my step-dad abuse my oldest daughter.

CYFS came to our home, and my daughter had been playing in make-up, lip sticks, and being only one and a half at the time, she had covered her legs in it.

It looked like she had been battered. CYFS, quite rightly in my opinion, asked what the hell had happened to her, and I sat there, with warm water, a bar of soap and cloths and washed it off, in front of them.

They then proceeded to ask me about my relationship with my step-dad. I told them it was good. I had what they term ‘respite’ care for the kids when I needed out, which wasn’t often, and I don’t drink or do drugs.

They asked me, time and time again, if I was sure that that I trusted him with my daughter. Did he touch her in any way?

My step-dad, touch my daughter?

Only in hugs and kisses and all things Poppy gave his moko.

Not just her, my daughter, all the moko.

My step-dad was a way better father to me than my own father, it was my step-dad who rung ME to see the SAT (Sex Abuse Team), at Auckland Central, and he sat in the car for hours waiting on us all.

This is just so people can see what type of person my step-dad was. He was Christian, but did not try to get us into his church or beliefs….he was just himself and helped us all try to get over the abuse we suffered.

This is for him too……
When my mum and step-dad got home, and I told them what my ex had said, my dad told me not to worry.

I only really had him and mum to turn to when things got out of hand, which is the reason I was living with them.

When my ex rang to talk to me about seeing the kids, my dad talked to him, and told him to come around and we’d all forget what had been said.

My son, who has so far not been mentioned, was missing his dad, he was only three and I have always tried to tell my kids, right up to now, they have a mum and a dad, and they are entitled to feel free to love both of us.

To cut short a long, long story, each time I tried to leave the abusive relationship, my ex would go into CYFS to tell them my step-dad was abusing me.

Each time I called the police to have him removed, the police would notify CYFS and so would my ex, with fresh allegations.

When CYFS would ask why I kept going back all the time to him, I would tell them of the pain my family was going through and how my ex’s allegations were making me feel guilty for putting that on my step-dad….but all they would ever tell me is this….WHEN WE GET A NOTIFICATION, WE HAVE TO FOLLOW IT UP.

Bit stupid when you consider they had the file open at all times and the only times they did not bother me was when I was living with my ex, putting up with violence and having the kids see it.

That was when I needed someone to come in hounding me, but of course, no one did.

My ex seemed capable of making up these lies and then, when I’d gone back, somehow, CYFS would not come near us. Big surprise. As soon as he opened his mouth, they’d jump.

I could have accepted that if he had not had his children from a previous relationship put into CYFS care, or the little boy he did the “island adoption” process with. He had a terrible record with CYFS and they took his word as gold!

My step-dad got sick in 2003, he was on all sorts of meds, and his last wish was to have his moko live with him again before he died.

There was nothing wrong with that, all his morphine, etc was put up in a locked cupboard, the children were sheltered from his pain and they were happy to be by Poppy again…..until the ex and CYFS saw fit to tell me I had to move out into my own place or face losing the kids. Same Otahuhu office, different social worker.

So, I moved out and less than six weeks later my dad passed away, in pain, his moko had been ripped out from under him, and he loved all the kids.

All this for a womanising alcoholic who is addicted to the pokies.

Enough had become enough and our oldest son wanted to go and live with his dad.

I had a good talk to his father, and made him promise he would stay away from booze, and the pokies and look after our son.

He promised.

I believed, rather than having the social workers around all the time.

I had my younger brother come to stay with me at this time. My kids adore my brother, and my brother got into work while he was with me.

Just before my oldest daughter’s fourth birthday in 2005, my ex comes in and we got into an argument over something. I asked him time and time again to leave. He refused, as he usually did, and I snapped, and rang the police.

You guessed it; CYFS got the usual double notification, one from him and one from the police.

This time, he accused my younger brother of sexually abusing my oldest daughter. This was December 2005.

I told my younger brother I did not believe the allegation, but that he had to go, as I had my kids to consider and CYFS had said they had to be parted from their uncle. How do you tell a six year old, a four year old, and a two year old, that uncle has to go and won’t be back?

My kids love their uncle, he has a unique bond with them and would never hurt them…..but he had to go.

Luckily, he was strong and just shouldered the accusation until he could have a voice, until someone interviewed him.
I have four kids to my ex, and when he made this allegation, I totally flipped out.

I asked him what it would take to have him out of my life for good, and he pointed to the four year old and the two year old. I think he knew I would half killed him if he had of tried taking the baby.

I gave him everything belonging to those kids. The look my four year old girl gave me still pains me now, I had such a strong bond with her and to her, I had abandoned her.

I gave up my house and moved back in by my mother. My poor brother had not, by this time (Feb 2006) been spoken to by anyone about the allegations, and all the social worker would tell me was that she could not locate my ex, but I was not to have the baby around my brother.

It was unfair, nothing had been substantiated, but here he was, 17, and alienated, it felt to him.

In Dec 2006, I had not seen my kids with my ex for ages, and it came as a surprise when one day he sent a text asking about the baby, and we arranged to meet somewhere neutral.

When we met, I asked how the four year old girl was, as late May 2006 he had farmed her out to his sister.

He said he hadn’t been to see her, but she was okay. Then he told me he worked at night time as security, and needed me to go to his house and look after our boys during the nights. Not a problem, my boys wouldn’t leave my side during this brief visit.

I went and on the night of the 17.01.07, he took off after an argument with the baby and other kids. And that was the last night I saw my baby.

The social worker was supposed to have, back in Jan 2006, written up an agreement stating the baby was to stay with me, and he was to have the other three, until we had sorted custody. She never did it.

Three days before Xmas, we went to court and the judge wouldn’t grant a warrant to bring my baby home. But my oldest son, the one who really wanted to live with his dad was there and had, the previous day told counsel for child that my ex had been belting into him. I left the court with my son.

The social worker had been aware of this abuse SINCE MAY 2006, and only ADVISED my ex against the abuse. It’s in black and white, on her affidavit placed before the courts.

I went through her affidavit and wrote out corrections to which I have proof.

It was not until I received the affidavit, the dreaded papers which were served solely to cause pain, that I actually knew what my brother was supposed to have done to my daughter. Masturbating in front of her and French kissing her.

In the Child Focussed Interviews conducted in Dec 2005, there were concerns that the kids had been ‘coached’, but still I could not have my brother by me.

On the 18 Jan 2007 CYFS got granted interim custody of the kids on the grounds I could not keep them safe, neither could their father, and the kids were at permanent risk of being sexually, emotionally, verbally, physically abused and we were unwilling or unable to give them the basics, stability, etc.

Although I have a pretty strong opinion of their father, I have always tried to encourage the kids to keep up contact. I have only once stopped him seeing his son, the oldest child, and that was after the abuse allegations come out and the my lawyer and the counsel for child advised it.

CYFS just said no one had custody; so technically, my ex could turn up and take away the child, who was absolutely terrified because he had spoken out about the abuse.

CYFS have always encouraged the contact too….and did not even let me know back in May that my kids wanted to come home to me, because they were being abused.

Tomorrow is my baby’s birthday. She will be two.

Because CYFS cannot stand up to someone like my ex, and indeed, they failed him too, I have lost my kids.

There have been posts up that have made me cry.

There have been posts up that have really got me angry.

There have been posts up that have made me sit back and wonder, is my own dealings with CYFS that bad?

Of course they are. If CYFS had not failed my ex, in ensuring he went to his alcohol addiction course, and his gambling problems course, the positive parenting courses and all the other courses CYFS have set out for him to do in the past, maybe he wouldn’t have the problems he has now. I am not defending him, far from it, neither of us is perfect, but CYFS only do their jobs when they feel like it.

Friday, 9 February 2007

Family Court Judge and Clinical Psychologist “tag team” against a mother.


Judge Grace of Family Court Wellington
Judith McDougall Psychologist acting on CYF’s behalf

Judge Grace presided over a family court case involving my friend and her children. He obviously had some sort of relationship going with Ms McDougall as sparks seemed to fly every time they looked at each other. I have no idea how Ms McDougall got her qualification because she has no idea what she’s talking about.

She told the court that the mother was manipulative and her testimony was worthless so in his judgement Judge Grace said he had totally ignored the mothers views, wishes and opinions in his decision. These people have been criminally negligent in their behaviour and handling of this case and have caused severe and real damage to the lives of three children not to mention their mother.

Anonymous

Monday, 12 February 2007

Parents ask for help – and become the enemy for doing so.

Hi there, I want to say what a wonderful site this is and long may it continue and I hope it gets people talking and sharing their experiences.

I have a long long story to tell and for reasons of my own I will not go into it all. I feel fear of naming and shaming the SW on my case so I will just give a brief summary.

Three years ago my husband and I had reached the end of our tether with my son who has always had very hard behaviour problems the main one being attachment disorder as I had trouble bonding with him at birth.

He also suffers from BPD borderline personality disorder which is a very hard disorder for others to live with, you can look it up on the Internet.

Anyway we called CYFS, both of us in tears begging for help.

They sent around a SW two weeks later, who did nothing to help except referred us on to the Open Home Foundation so we could have a break.

When I contacted the Open Home Foundation they said sorry we can’t help you as your child is too badly behaved!

Couldn’t believe it.

Anyway we carried on as best we could, I attended weekly sessions with my son at Whatata house in Christchurch which I had been doing for years.

Life went on and there were good patches and bad ones. We are certainly not saying we did nothing wrong, in fact I was the first to put my hand up saying I wasn’t coping as I had slapped my sons face on about 5 occasions.

One night my son and his brother decided to run away and went down to my sister’s house about 5 kms from our house.

She has always had a personal vendetta against me and the rest of our family so she was loving this, she called CYFS.

This was the beginning of a nightmare that is still going on to this day.

They barged in guns blazing and had no problem BLAMING AND SHAMING US, they took the boys and refused contact with me and them.

For a child with this disorder, taking him away from his mum is the worse thing you can do. We were put in the CYFS box which is all parents are evil, they need to look at each family differently as we are humans we are all different are we?

My husband and I worked so hard to have the boys back home. We did everything they said and more. We eventually got the youngest back home the one with the disorders.

He had been in cyfs “care” (which by the way is meant to be better than where they are at the time they are taken what a joke that is!) he had been in about 10 different houses all disgustingly dirty and disorganized, he had been living on the streets smoking dope drinking and had been sexually abused at least twice that we know of.

He had taken up smoking and was addicted to that as well.

He lasted about 6 months with us and then decided it was “boring at home” his words.

He went down to the phone box and called cyfs and said we were beating him up.

Luckily the SW’s where we were living at the time (we had moved cities) didn’t believe him and did everything they could to get him back home but he was so determined to leave there was nothing they could do.

A person with his disorder acts this way and the system has certainly fed the disorder and made it much much worse.

He is now in Auckland in Youthlink Trust where he has continued to run away, smoke, take drugs, smash windows, and steal cars. He stole a car over the Christmas period and smashed it into a tree; he is 12 years old. I still have heard nothing from CYFS regarding this and it happened early January, New Years day in fact.

My other son has been back home with us for almost a year and he is doing very well; he is 16 yrs now.

Cyfs SW’s are never available when you need them they don’t return your phone calls.

They destroy family units and the don’t tell you anything legal that you should be dong they just expect people to help them selves.

We are at the stage now where we can’t have our son live with us ever again, so destroyed he has been by the system that was set up to help people.

I am not talking about the terrible cases of abuse going on in this country. I am talking about people like our family who need HELP and are willing to take it but when you ask for it it is held against you.

I can’t count the times that first phone call was mentioned to us how we said we weren’t coping and that we said we felt we hated our kid. All we were doing was being honest.

Countless people came forward to try and get them to see reason but they would listen to no one expect my sister who hates all our family.

I would like to see CYFS bowled over and start again with people that actually want to keep families such as ours together, not DIVIDE AND CONQUER which is what they do to people.

Good luck with this site.

Monday, 12 February 2007

An open letter to Judge Peter Boshier (Family Court).

Dear Sir,

I am writing this as an open letter, because in the past I have been accused of manipulating people and lying.

This has impacted on the perceptions of people making decisions about myself and my family.

So that I can have an open and transparent hearing I am making my concerns a matter of public record.

In November of last year my family was subject to CYFS proceedings in the Family Court.

We were promised a decision by the presiding judge, by the 20th December.

We did not receive his ruling until about 3 weeks ago.

Since then I have been trying with no success to obtain an appointment with my lawyer.

Today I told her PA that I would write to you and complain, and ask your advice.

Also of concern to me is the fact that my eldest child has yet to hear from her lawyer regarding the judges ruling, she has however heard third hand that her lawyer considers that the rulings do not concern her.

Given that the presiding judge has ruled that she can only contact her siblings by land line (to be monitored by the caregiver)among other things I find the children’s lawyer to be uncaring to say the least.

Unfortunately this is not the only time this young persons requests have been ignored. On both the children’s commissioner, and my advice, she approached another lawyer to tell the presiding judge of her concerns.

This honesty and concern for has cost this young person the relationship with her siblings.

She to has been branded a liar and manipulator,or someone with no thoughts or feelings of her own.

Secondly the presiding judge denied my applications for custody as I appeared to accept that my children would live with their other parent, and then denied an access hearing as I had not put in an application for access.

My lawyer told me that she would not do this as it was an custody hearing and that an application for access would not be likely to be heard and would piss people off.

This judge gave me the strong impression that he did not believe a word I said, and said that he was simply not interested in any evidence I could produce, and this was obvious by the end of day one of the hearing .

This same Judge maintains that the court appointed psychologist is above reproach simply because they are “professional”, they then go on to give leave for this same person to decide if I will have any access to my youngest child.

This is because this “professional” knows me well.

Given that I have had a total of six hours in this persons presence I find this appalling.

It is not just that this “professional”, disagrees with me, that is of concern. It is the fixed nature of her beliefs and this persons inability to even consider that her “suggestions” may have long term negative effects, on all concerned.

Coupled with her complete absolution of my Ex partner of any neglect, abuse, or any other wrongdoing despite evidence to the contrary that concerns me.

And her attacks on my eldest child, eg that she was overweight and at risk of becoming promiscuous, this was because her primary school principal thought she was, because this person saw my child outside with a group of boys.

So on Hearsay she labeled my child at risk, this same psychologist did not bother to talk to the teachers directly or her secondary school teachers who know my child well.

My eldest child has never even had a detention is well trusted and liked by her peers and teachers alike, and has done well academically despite the stress we have been under.

Also of concern is the fact that the court psychologist talked to caregivers, who felt I manipulated my eldest child telling her she was unwell, since when is telling a child the symptoms of stress, and that stress is not a serious illness or a crime.

It is obvious that even CYF do not trust him as they have not given him custody, and they have been granted additional guardianship over my children, despite the absolution of the court psychologist.

My concerns with CYF are:

They began by trying to maintain to the court that I was promiscuous, lazy and neglectful of my children.

They did this by swearing affidavits that I had no food in my home and that my home was dirty.

Come to my home anytime I will cook for you and show you my home and cupboards and my reasonably clean home.

In fact if these were the real issues then surely a food grant and some home help would have resolved the problem.

I admitted freely my assault on my child which led to my children’s removal, what CYF do not want to admit.

Is I asked and begged and pleaded for help with this child, MY ex wouldn’t help “cause he couldn’t cope” and I had no family to call on.

CYF themselves also called him but he never responded to their calls, (according to the court psychologist) I made it difficult for him to do so, I guess CYF did as well?

I even had the support of 2 well respected child psychologists who warned CYF of the consequences of there inaction, echoing the belief of the previous commissioner for children (Rodger McClay) that CYF had the statutory responsibility to support my family.

I can only presume that it was the budget blow out in the Wellington region that lead to the refusal to help my family, despite a call to the commissioner for children, and a strengthening families meeting and CYF having support orders in place
CYF staff have lied saying I stabbed my child, saying that my youngest daughter had lived with her other parent, when in fact it was nearly five years before he wanted anything to do with her.

They have manipulated the truth for instance My Youngest child was supposed to have gone on a school trip unescorted.

The truth is she crossed the road to the local park. I live across the road and retrieved her minutes later.

Then there are the double standards.

It was fine for CYF to allow my to younger children to travel from P…. to P.. on the train and buses (journey of nearly 2hrs daily) but I was neglectful for allowing my child to walk a ten minute journey home from school with her friends and neighbours?

CYF have yet to explain why the year before my ex and his living conditions were deemed unsuitable and yet now even though nothing has changed he’s OK.

Before my youngest was taken into care they did not steal, nor were they aggressive, this child was a high energy happy child who told the normal childhood stories to get out of trouble but was never malicious.

Now according to the court psychologist, she lies and is aggressive to other children. Funny how they never told the court she was assaulted by another child while in their care, this 7 yr old was not believed until the other child was caught assaulting her. did they ever sat sorry for not believing you NO!

Neither was she believed when she said a caregiver smacked her or that the same caregivers children hit kicked and bit her the marks spoke for themselves, She was not believed by her social worker.

I have been told off for treating her chronic head lice, and asking, the caregivers via the social worker to ensure that this child had enough lunch. I asked if we as a family could have counselling No again even though I offered to pay for it myself.
I was also blamed for my ex boyfriends sexual abuse of my youngest daughter.

I do take some responsibility, but I was as much a victim of his manipulation as were my children.

It was only the once and my daughter told me straight away.

I was honest with CYF and said I had not stopped caring for this man as my shock and disbelief that someone I cared for could betray me and my own history of abuse made it difficult to see I was being used.

So I am guilty of arrogant stupidity , not allowing my child to sexually abused , so I could stay in a relationship as CYF would have everyone believe.

However I never allowed him any access to children again. I could have lied but wanted to be honest.

However CYF saw fit to have one of his children attend the same secondary school as my elder child, this kid has made my eldest very uncomfortable at times , and yet this is not seen as a risk to my eldest.

This man is clever, and in hindsight I can see how he is probably even now grooming his own children.

Yet he has access to his children, supervised only by his family as far as I am aware.

According to CYF and the police this situation poses no threat. I hope so?

Now according to CYF I am a danger to her because I supposedly have Borderline Personality Disorder, This has many common features with Post Traumatic Stress, which has been my diagnoses from most if not all mental health professionals who have known me over the years.

In fact one psychiatrist has stated while I had some traits in of BPD.

It had been some years since they were of concern (this statement was some years ago).

This seems like discrimination to me. I have hardly ever had to discipline my younger child and told anyone who would listen that I we all needed help with one child’s behaviour. This child in contrast to the elder and younger siblings barely does homework, despite a high IQ and is frequently bullied, has few friends, etc.

They have broken windows, hit other children and caused damage to thee school property, and she is anxious when in crowds and isolates herself.

I know that their dad frequently leaves them alone and I have even told CYF, he seems incapable of setting limits.

Yet only today she told me that she needed to convince her dad to make sure her younger sibling was in bed before 8.30, and then blamed herself saying it was difficult on her dad as they shared a room and of course the younger one would want to stay up later.

So given that CYF have lied and manipulated the truth:

Both my daughter and I have had lawyers who were uninterested, in seeing this family restored.

The court psychologist has written me off as hopeless and somehow dangerous, because that is her opinion, not fact just as my ex needs to be protected from me is opinion not fact because when have I harassed him?

When did I stop him seeing his children – never?

When and how did I lie?

I hope that my case shows you and the general public how, and why loath CYF and the family court need to be changed.

It is unlikely I can obtain legal representation on legal aid in my area.

So I must accept that once again lies and opinion can hold up my life, and hurt my children just like it did in 1999 when CYFs first removed my children, simply because I at that time wanted to end my life.

I had tried to shield my children it was my ex husband and well meaning neighbours who told my daughter I wanted to kill myself (she was only six).

And contrary to the judges opinion an FGC was held and agreement for my daughters to come home was reached, until counsel for child in consultation with the same court psychologist vetoed the agreement.

Check with the Commissioner for children’s office, look at the records you will see that whenever I have done something wrong I have admitted it.

It is CYFs Court appointed psychologists and the like who have a vested interest not in seeing positive outcomes but destroying families.

I seem to recall this same court psychologist disputing publicly sex abuse statistics saying a great number of sexual abuse victims had false memory syndrome.

As a victim of abuse lasting from 6-22 years of age I find this distressing as does this persons belief that I am a liar.

Why Mr Boshier does opinion and not facts matter.

Can Cyfs explain why for 9mths last year I had unsupervised weekend access to all three of my children, which only stopped when I wanted to allow my children time to grieve together as a family after their aunt died.

Yes ok she was a friend of 20yrs but to my children she was their aunt.

Did they remove my youngest child to the caregivers in the Hutt Valley, to prevent her from running away from caregivers.and home to me.

Can they explain why after 18 months of stating absolutely she wanted to come home she suddenly wanted to live with the caregiver who in her 8 years of life she had only spent 90 days with and only one night alone without her siblings.

Or how bonding can occur in that small space of time as asserted by the court psychologist.

Or how this child who is prone to lies told that same person that she knew she would be safer or better of with her dad (caregiver).

Now if he had wanted to be part of her life all along and he wasn’t getting extra benefits weekend respite 2 weekends a month, school holiday programmes found and paid for then perhaps I could agree, because kids need dad as well, but never before has he put his hand up.

Even when this first started I had to pay money to him and friends etc had to persuade him to care for his own children.

It is amazing what money can do?

And Yet CYF will not help support my eldest daughter or help me feed my kids in holidays etc without a fight.

Or why when my eldest child decided to return home at nearly 15yrs of age. CYF at first threatened police action if she did not return to her caregivers. They backed down after I emailed all and sundry asking for support.

When she had already expressed to her lawyer and CYFs that the amount of travel involved in returning to and from school and the lack of contact with her peers was causing much distress.

I have to say that the children’s original lawyer had contacted the ombudsman over her concerns around cyfs, and was considering asking the family court to become additional guardianship as cyf were not acting in the children’s best interests.

This changed when my lawyer went to work for the firm that the children’s lawyer worked for and the original counsel for the children left.

Was this not conflict of interest?

The current counsel for child was present at a meeting last year where my eldest was promised a train ticket to enable her to visit her dad she has yet to receive it, she has told her lawyer more than once?

How is it that same Lawyer can say these are my clients wishes, however the court psychologist believes they are being manipulated by their mother so don’t listen to what they say or want? Is this ethical practice?

given one of my children tells me they live on takeaways and she now has gall stones and the other has in the last week developed an eye infection and bladder infection I am concerned CYF even promised me a copy of school reports last year I have yet to receive them? Do I suddenly have no rights as a parent.

Prior to Decembers hearing I told a judge that I was afraid that CYF would stop or reduce my access.

While he did not order them to leave access as it was until after the hearing he strongly suggested it and yet months later they removed one child from her school and moved towns, and offered access on Friday afternoons despite well qualified individuals offering their services as supervisors.

If a parent proposed to take a young child out of school for several hours once a week I do not believe that either the family court or Cyfs would sanction this, and yet this was CYFS suggestion.

Why? because they were not prepared to have staff available on a weekend. CYFs seemed to not care that the close relationship between 2 loving siblings was being broken.

So your Honour, do I have any right of appeal?

Can I represent myself?

Can we ask for another opinion regarding access to my youngest child as all the so called reports of negative behaviour have only been since she was in care.

Please explain to me why despite evidence to the contrary I have been branded a liar with a mental illness that makes me too dangerous to even talk to my children on the phone without supervising.

Of course I wish I could give my name but I am so scared that this will only be used against me that at present I cannot.

A broke hearted mother?

Ps My ex even supported me having my family restored until we had a disagreement and CYF offered him this part time care giving role of his children.

Wednesday, 14 February 2007

The case of the made-up Police check, and mistaken identity.


PAPANUI:

Whatever gave CYFS the right to keep my grandson isolated from me, over the years,
without doing any investigation, ………… beats me.

Can anyone out there, help me, find an answer because I was under the impression that any report that CYFS receive it is CYFS duty to do an investigation.

My grandson was psychologically attached to me and has needed me for his best interests.

In 2004 I had a very professional Social Worker from Catholic Social Services acting for me for my grandsons best interests.

This Social Worker had told me that they used to work for CYFS but resigned because
the Social Worker had said that they could no longer keep working for a department that destroys families and tears them all apart.

The Social Worker rang CYFS on my behalf on 26th January 2004 requesting a meeting
with CYFS to discuss my grandsons case further.

On CYFS file, John Thorburn, supervisor CYFS Papanui, stated:

“Michelle, his case has been reallocated to you as Peter Nicholl will be away till April, and there is a defended hearing coming up and needs a capable experienced Social Worker.

Michelle Wills, CYFS Papanui, Christchurch was a Social Worker at this time, and is now a Supervisor.

Michelle Wills was not interested in a meeting: what does this tell you about her?

The defended hearing was for me at the Family Court to defend against CYFS blatant lies.

I was applying for additional guardianship of my grandson for his best interests and needs.

I did not have to go back to the Family Cour to defend against CYFS blatant lies and
feel so humiliated and cost the taxpayers more money as my son who is a legal guardian of my grandson, had arrived back from Australia.

Michelle Wills had a meeting with my son on the 24th May 2004 and at this meeting, my son had told Michelle Wills that he would like to sort my access out with my grandson and had said “He feels, that a lot of it is about what’s been said misinterpreted by him, and all because he never liked my long- term partner I had.”
and on Michelle Wills CYFS report she stated:

“According to my son, there are a lots of discrepancies regarding historical information that needed to be sorted and cleared”.

This was never carried out, by Michelle Wills.

All my traumatic dealings with CYFS has more so, been based on my sons report to CYFS, without CYFS ever doing any investigation.

CYFS have used my own sons comments as evidence.

My son wrote to CYFS from Australia on 11th November 2002 and in this letter he states:

“I would like to make mention of how disappointed I am by your department’s lack of respect towards my mother. She, as do I, only want the very best for my son, and I would appreciate having this case conducted in a more professional manner.”

This only got worse.

At this time I had Jim Anderton’s agent working for me, and he sent CYFS through an
e-mail on 12th November 2002 asking CYFS a lot of questions.

One of the questions, put to CYFS was –

What information EVIDENCE does CYFS have on me regarding the treatment of my grandson and of him being exposed to violence while in my care?

CYFS answer –

Evidence, re my own sons comments.

This answer was to do with the allegation that my grandson was exposed to violence in my care.

The Police have confirmed to CYFS that this was not true.

CYFS answer to my treatment of my grandson was –

“That, my grandson, has told a Social Worker and resource worker individually that I had hit him hard and it hurt, and that Grandma and Grandad hit each other” and
then goes onto say It was clearly me my grandson was talking about and says that my grandson had also told his caregiver at that time that I had hit him around the face with an open hand.

The way he demonstrated this indicated that to my grandsons mind, this was with some force.

Upon requesting CYFS file and receiving them some months later, I was devastated to find that my grandson was going to swipe the caregiver around the face and it states
that it would have hurt her if he had done so.

My question to this is –

Why didn’t CYFS Social Worker Jan Gillanders tell me this at a meeting my ex partner and, myself had with her on the 19th November 2001.

To this day I still do not know what aggravated my grandson to have wanted to swipe the caregiver around the face.

My grandson certainly did not have to resort to this while in my excellent care.

I now know that Jan Gillanders was covering up for the caregiver.

I had asked Jan Gillanders at this meeting, where I had hit my grandson and where my ex partner and I had hit each other.

CYFS answer –

Sorry, we cannot answer that because we do not ask questions.

Jan Gillanders then after hearing this accused me of hitting my grandson around the face and not only that, she had used my grandson against me.

I had told Jan Gillanders, at this meeting that my grandson has got no reason to say
this about me and had asked her when this was meant to have happened.

She went away then came back into the interview room and told me that my grandson
had disclosed this two days after my grandsons very happy access visit with me on the 7th October 2001, for my mothers 80th birthday.

Once again, I was devastated when I had read months later that this disclosure was not on CYFS file two days after my grandsons very happy access visit with me as Jan Gillanders had stated.

Jan Gillanders then told me that my grandson had soiled his pants when he had got back to the caregivers home after my access to him.

She blamed me for that and then told me that I had blown all access to my grandson.

Jan Gillanders CYFS report two days after my access states:

My grandson said he went to Grandnana’s then went to Grandma’s, Grandad was there
fixing the car, then rang Dad, then he said:

“I am going on the plane with Grandma to see Dad.”

Then states:

When he got home, said, “Where’s the phone, I want it now.”

My grandson, after having been denied the use of the phone, went from aggression, to sucking his thumb, and wanting cuddles.

Then says, went to friends, and saw dog, he just changes, when he is not lying down
sucking his thumb, he’s loud.

Jan Gillanders CYFS report also states:

The caregiver saw my grandson bopping himself on the head with a ball, hurting himself, seemed angry, he was defiant, talking about getting a sharp knife, and wasn’t going to budge.

The report then goes onto say my grandson does say it’s him, him today.

Jan Gillanders, finished off her report and said:

“He’s been hard work mentally”

My grandson, at this time was only four and a half years old and was crying out to be with his families.

Jan Gillanders made no attempt at this time to work on my grandsons best interests and needs.

Jan Gillanders denied my grandson and myself any further access.

We had to wait ten months and at this time a new Social Worker had taken over my grandsons case.

Now getting back to the allegation that CYFS are stating that my grandson had told a Social Worker and a resource worker individually that I had hit him hard, it hurts, and he cries: Jan Gillanders, had made a report on CYFS files, stating it was me.

The surname regarding this allegation was certainly not mine but it was very similar to my grandsons maternal grandmother.

When I confronted CYFS over the surname I was told that it is based on the fact,
that my grandson calls me grandma, and the other grandmother nana.

Jan Gillanders put on the CYFS report grandma.

There are no reports on CYFS files from the Social Worker nor the resource worker,
leading up to this allegation.

Another Question put to CYFS, from Jim Andertons agent, in the e-mail was –

What is CYFS primarily concerned will happen if I have more frequent and unsupervised access to my grandson, and what is the basis of this?

CYFS answer –

The department is aware of past possible inappropriate discipline of my grandson by me and a history of domestic violence supported by a Police Check, and the report of
my own son.

How CYFS can get away with their blatant lies is beyond me.

CYFS, at this time, still had not done any investigation on me and they certainly did
not have a Police Check.

I rang Jan Gillanders, during this time to find out why I had to be supervised with my grandson. She told me that this was based on my own sons comments.

When my son heard this, he was deeply shocked.

CYFS have not only used my son against me but have also used my grandson to cover up for all of their blatant lies.

CYFS reasons then kept changing over the years on why I had to be supervised with my grandson.

CYFS, in the past have said to me I cannot move on without this hanging over me, but each and every Social Worker that has been handling my grandsons case have been using all the blatant lies against me.

How can anyone ever move on when this is the situation.

I will be posting more up on this website about my grandsons tragic happenings under CYFS care as they have not only abused and accused me without any evidence to act on,
they have allowed my grandson to be abused and have not been there to protect him.

They have also abused his rights, and mine.

The sooner, CYFS are made to be accountable, the better.

From one shattered, heartbroken, and concerned Paternal Grandmother.

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